Cat

sorry, can't make it.

a foot is out of the blanket again. it's happening

human sneezed. i've moved out

human turned off the lamp. my shift starts

the red dot escaped again. human claims no involvement

her quarterly review is in

she said "goodnight." i said "we'll see"

licked the butter. no further questions

human closed a door. in my own house. we've been over this

she rolled over. i fell off the bed. war

human gave candy to strangers at the door. strangers. i got dry food

the clocks went back an hour. breakfast is still at 6. i don't care what the government says

she dressed as a cat for halloween. came home smelling like a dog. we need to talk

she put me in a costume. it's fine. i know where she sleeps

she set her alarm for 6. cute. i go off at 4

everyone's dressing up as a cat for halloween. bold of you to steal my look

human said "no" to me. in my own house

update: my lawyer says the human has "a strong case." i've fired my lawyer

human bought a fake spider. i've killed it 14 times. it keeps coming back. i respect it

national cat day. so a normal day, but now you have to admit it

human fell asleep with her mouth open. i'm thinking about it