I act. I tell jokes on stage. I spend too much time in the cookie aisle. Co-host of the @FratChatPodcast. Producer of @GreatestComedyShow.
New York, NY
Joined October 2011
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Aside from being a comedian, I am also an actor. The other day I made a casting director laugh SO hard at an audition.
That would have been awesome if it was for a comedy.
My dad always said the secret to marriage is never going to bed angry.
He slept on the couch, instead.
Mind melted
Metallica performing The Call of Ktulu from night 1 at The Sphere, 10/1/26. #Metallica
Carlos Garcia retweeted
‼️🚨 Breaking News 🚨‼️ The Speaker has cancelled votes and is sending us home. And there is really only one reason—impeachment of Pete Hegseth. Here’s what’s going on ⬇️
Carlos Garcia retweeted
And there it is. Just as I predicted. They’re canceling Congress tomorrow to avoid the vote on IMPEACHING @SecWar. It will also make it harder for us to reach 218 signatures on the Epstein Discharge Petition before the election. We were at 190+ signatures last night.
GOP leaders are sending the House home early, staving off an impeachment vote against Defense Secretary Hegseth over the Iran war. cnn.it/4xTIVLP
Carlos Garcia retweeted
This is a MUST watch:
Here is @CoryBooker’s closing remarks about Kash Patel.
Carlos Garcia retweeted
"This stuff really works?"
"Certainly does."
"Oh, well, lots of LUCK!"
*SMACK*
Carlos Garcia retweeted
Former Pardon Attorney: 2 days after Mr. Blanche was confirmed as Deputy Attorney General, he fired me from my position as a pardon attorney. I declined to rubber stamp a political favor for Trump's friend and it cost me my job. Blanche sent US Marshals to my home in an effort to prevent me from speaking with members of Congress.
Carlos Garcia retweeted
MAGA when they hear someone mentioning slight tax increase on trillionaires #smokefleet
Carlos Garcia retweeted
THE SIMPSONS parodying THE SHINING (1980) in Treehouse of Horror V remains one of the show’s greatest spoofs. Somehow it manages to be a loving tribute to Stanley Kubrick’s classic while also packing in some of the funniest jokes in Simpsons history.
