Carbosly

I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.

It’s becoming increasingly difficult to take photos of my teenagers. Here’s my son having a wonderful time on a canoe-camping trip.

Today I had a work altercation with a millennial. So now I have to buy her a Hallmark card that says "Sorry I asked you to do a job we hired you to do. Sending you positive vibes during this difficult time 🫶🏻"

Thanks for making my son’s night @VancityReynolds #GoSensGo

This morning, someone sent me a fax. Someone at my head office received the fax, scanned it, saved it as a PDF, wrote me an email introducing said fax and added it as an attachment. Hooray for progress!!!

Anyone speaks binary code? My car is trying to communicate.

If now is not a good time to eat shitloads of gluten I don’t know what is.

I’m the trophy wife you get for participating.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you like to drive at the speed limit, the left lane isn’t for you. This lane is reserved for badass motherfuckers willing to die going to Walmart.

Renovating the basement and discovering where all the cat’s toys are at.

My Sioux name would be "she who resets passwords every time she tries to log in".

It’s 2:22, 2/2/22. You’re welcome.

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Also, he owes you $15,99. Bitch, do I look like a charity? That fish ain't free.

My VP texted me during his Mexico vacation. He couldn’t wait to share his newest find. Something that would revolutionize the way we do marketing. A QR code. That was his big discovery.

The woman in front of me is purchasing tampons, chocolate bars, pickles & a pregnancy test and I want to follow her home to see how it ends.