Make water your drink of choice! Parody account.

Ottawa, Ontario
Joined January 2019
Do it, do it, do it!
Canadians urged to eat more fries as 200 million pounds of potatoes become latest food victim of COVID-19 nationalpost.com/life/food/c…
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Endorsed!
I had no idea. Because of restaurant closures, there are nearly 200 million pounds of Canadian french fry potatoes STUCK IN STORAGE. In Belgium, they're urging people to eat fries twice a week. I am taking on this fight for our country. WILL YOU HELP? ctv.news/WXWb5tF
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There's no need for imprisonment when you can just force feed people kale chips as punishment instead.
Is @JustinTrudeau going to impose fines and threats of imprisonment if we don't follow @CanadaFoodGuide like he did with long form census? #TrudeauMustGo
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Eat whatever you want, okay? Just don't fight anymore!
I’m in a park in Yorkville and a fistfight has just broken out over the Canada Food Guide. We live in dangerous times, #cdnpoli.
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Disgusting. This meal lacks cheese curds, gravy AND french fries.
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Yeah but it's also a tasty carcinogen, and a drink or two can really help take the edge off.
#alcoholawareness Pleased to see the Canada Food Guide also taking a strong stance on Alcohol related harms to Canadian's-A Global Public Health issue-Alcohol is a known carcinogen
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I love animals. They're delicious!
The new UN/Canada food guide does not have any animal products. It was based on the UN's opinion of what is sustainable rather than what is the healthiest. The Liberals wasted a lot of tax dollars on this UN food guide. Our food guide needs to be fixed or scrapped.
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FYI, these things are definitely going to be in the next updated version of me.
When the @bluejays come to bat, it’s time to rally your family and friends with these easy CADBURY DAIRY MILK Peanut Butter Buttons! snackworks.ca/en/products/pr…
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:(
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*fans self*
The new #Canada Food Guide is the most forward thinking Food Guide we've ever had. It's exciting. #canadasfoodguide food-guide.canada.ca/en/
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Everybody loooooves me.
Replying to @carlyweeks
As far as I see, the only ppl unhappy with the new food guide are members of the food/bev industry that feel their products are not being promoted enough. Even Canada's loudest critic of the former food guide, @YoniFreedhoff, is happy with the new one. weightymatters.ca/2019/01/br…
Honestly, can we just lock the dairy farmers and the vegans a room and let them sort it out?
Replying to @AndrewScheer
@AndrewScheer whining about 'lack of #science' in Canada Food Guide is code for 'didn't listen enough to special interests.' ow.ly/3BDg50v53T9
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Thank you. I think I'm pretty amazing too.
Maybe not use the word cooperate. Canada's food guide is so amazing I still think I'm dreaming. But we need to use our own critical thinking. Climate change is backed by science and it's obviously real, it's right in front of us.
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Want. Some.
Replying to @vmochama
Honestly, they can pry my jalapeno cheetos from my cold dead hands.
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I'm actually quite practical. For example, if it's been a long week, i recommend just ordering pizza on Friday.
Scheer says he will review 'ideologically driven' Food Guide if he becomes PM ctv.news/ehFO4mU #cdnpoli
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Truth!
But for Health Canada bureaucrats and the Canada Food Guide, we would all be passed out in a gutter, hand in chip bag and belly full of candy.
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Never. Do you see Doritos, Twinkies, or french fries listed? No? Well, they still sell those at the grocery store too.
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Nope. I'm a food guide, not a magician.
Does Canada's revamped food guide bridge cultural divides? bit.ly/2DBTnPC
You know what causes man boobs? Too much cheese.
Replying to @CanadaFoodGuide
@CanadaFoodGuide My American friend says that soy sauce causes men's breast to become larger. Is this benefit applicable to the USA only or does it affect Canada as well? #diet #foodphotography #nutrition4medics
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I'm sorry. Nutrition is my forte, I'm not very good with relationship advice (other than "don't eat alone")
.@drakefenton and I had a big blowout over the new Canada Food Guide. I wish this was a joke.
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