.@David_Cameron it was a one time thing. Stop texting me.

Until some news breaks that makes this account relevant again, I'll be enjoying this decidedly unpolitical show at the @freefringefest in Edinburgh. #edfringe #edfringe2019 tinyurl.com/y4c4ue6j

In an effort to avoid getting fucked, I'm going to #VoteLabour

Is this Trump stuff true or are they just taking the piss?

I highly recommend supporting this comedy album. Highly DO NOT recommend certain other activities. kck.st/2gsOxKx

I always get someone in trouble when I open my mouth, but consider this comedy record from America. It's quite good. kck.st/2gsOxKx

Some luck. Pre-#Brexit all I wanted was the PM to pull out.

Looks like somebody finished early again.

To answer your questions: I happen to be male. Hope that's not too shocking...don't want to overshadow the news that I'm a bloody PIG.

Conservatives scrapping free school meals? Not the first time a Tory's left me less than a mouthful.

Ugh. Just got my ex on Tinder...

Thanks for making me the number 2 pig sex personality on Twitter.

It was a long night...

Flattered, but I thought your leaders preferred horses.

Nevermind. I found out the process for verification and I'm not doing that again.

How do I get verified?

The whole episode left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Cameron likes pork. I prefer sausage.

I ask that you respect my privacy in this difficult time.

Look, it's embarrassing for me, too.