the l o n g b o i s of punctuation xitter.cf/chrisgeidner/status/94…

A millennial is a repository of young, virile blood used primarily to extend the lives of eccentric billionaires.

The plural of emoji is emoji

"the thirst," real

.@styleguide @EriFaith @davidmackau "catfish @styleguide" is the preferred term

.@chrislhayes use YESSSSS to express low key approval, YAAASSSS for frantic excitement

.@davidmackau "dad bod", plural "dads bod"

"struggle" on first reference, "jihad" thereafter

Twitter name followed by last name: NOT a mistake, totally a thing

twitter: a micro-blogging platform that allows users to post death threats of up to 140 characters

bae: makes old people angry for some reason. This is hilarious, so use it as much as possible

justice: only white people will understand

Clickhole: see BuzzFeed, Inc. (in about 12 months, max)

DavidTennantinRain.gif: an image that wrecks readers' feels. DeadMufasa.gif on second reference

VCR: acceptable abbreviation for all references to an ancient version of Netflix. Only 90's kids will understand.

waffles: something nobody cares about, write about pancakes instead

next level, next-level: hyphenate as a modifier before a noun. Bring your ramen game to the next level. Some next-level bullshit.

obvs: abbreviation for obvious. On first reference, use obvi

As a predicate adjective, 'everything' is always capitalized. Ex: This tweet is EVERYTHING.

Include no more than 25 shirtless men per listicle, any more and readers literally can't.