Brandon Burns (@BurnsBrandon) header
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A blue dot tweeting from an undisclosed red state. Somewhere between Woke —— Born Again. #LevityOverOutrage

TX
Joined July 2011
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New rule: You can’t tell me when life begins when you don’t even know when an election is over.
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What if we changed the name of everything artificial to super?
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Name the bodies of water whatever you want as long as we can call gas affordable again.
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My Monthly gas bill in 2026 could’ve funded an entire local FedEx hub fleet back in 2016.
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If flags are going to be lowered to half staff when Mitch McConnell passes, I’d imagine we’d be good to go ahead and lower em’ to 1/4 staff now just to be prepared.
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The question is so obvious more than ever now if you vote Republican, what actually are your selling?
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No mail in ballots this year but if you vote Republican you might get a mail in rebate.
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Can we just give MAGA the south and they can can name it New America? #ArtOfTheDeal
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Republicans raised roughly $1 billion for MAGA Inc. and are worried Trump won’t spend enough of it helping Republican candidates. They finally found a trickle-down theory they don’t trust.
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The Supreme Court restored party committees’ TV ad discounts for now. At least it’s getting cheaper to tell us things will get cheaper.
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Taco Bell be like: See what new items they’ll pay $1 for, and whichever ones catch on, add them to the menu and raise the price to $7. Then, after it becomes a popular staple menu item, discontinue it for 10 years until a limited re-release.
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How long before the Oval Office is revamped as the octagon office?
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Somehow the richest man on earth is also the one guy who wants to live off of earth.
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The pumps are accepting Affirm now
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🤖 Made with AI
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Privilege is a right.
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When you’re a republican they let you do it.
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Why are there ICE agents standing outside of the Orion space capsule?
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I’m behind, did the Easter bunny see his shadow and predict two more weeks of war or a cease fire?
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