@Brandinian

I write music and musicals and I was also on a reality show once.

 Los Angeles, CA
thebardicbastards.com
Joined December 2008
  • Tweets8.3K
  • Following886
  • Followers600
1.6KMedia
Dolly Parton was the female Mr. Rogers and shall be remembered as someone forever spectacular.
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I’m sorry, did I just hear it wrong or do we have a general named Raising Cane? #Venezuela #Trump
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“The days of rule by unelected bureaucrats are over.” He says, as Elon sits right there. #Trump
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“Our country will be woke no longer.” Trump admitting he’s asleep at the wheel.
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Free speech is great. You’re free to spout hate, and I’m free to remind you what an asshole you are.
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The sergeant at arms “restoring order” looks a lot like Saddam purging his political enemies.
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I wish I could be as confident as Melania Trump starting a standing ovation for herself. #StateOfTheUnion
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Cannot wait to hear how President Krasnov is going to further destroy America!
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Can’t wait to hear what insane shit Trump spouts tonight. He’s the hottest horror/comedy writer out there right now. #Trump
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What’s gonna be your first tweet after the aliens arrive? #drones #UAPs
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WHY WOULD HE SHOW UP HERE?! Did he just stumble in drunk? #HarrisonFord #GameAwards2024
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Marlon Brando would have been proud tonight. #TheOscars #Oscars
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The @Hersheys and @reeses Twitter accounts have been defunct for over a year. What is going ON over there?
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&Juliet looks like if someone made a musical out of a Waffle House jukebox. #TonyAwards2023 #tonyawards
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I am going to tweet at @OoniHQ every day until they’re convinced to send me a free pizza oven because I can never afford to buy one but spend hours watching videos of people using them.
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The current season of On Cinema by @timheidecker and @greggturkington is absolutely amazing. One of my favorites by far. If you know you know. @HEINetworkTV is worth every penny.
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As a @timheidecker Timhead, I’m touched and honored to be retweeted. And I’m also incredibly sick from the grain water that’s been rewriting my genetic code.
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This is my brother’s Halloween costume from the 90s. You’re a copyright infringing thief @greggturkington. I need premium lawyer @timheidecker on this case. #oncinema
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Elon, Zuckerberg, and Bezos. Going from job creators to job deflators.
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I sincerely apologize for the powerball difficulties tonight. I have nothing to do with the lotto, I’m just sorry that you all have to wait around longer to find out that I am clearly the one with the winning ticket.
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