I’m racing @Stephina1975 ya’ll, to 500k She's got, like, 3 impressions. I will probably win handily. You got me? Good morning!

Dirty with a capital D.

Everyone's scared AI will take their job. Mine would quit after one day of my email inbox. 😂

Tried to cook dinner. The smoke detector gave me a standing ovation.

AI is learning from everything on the internet. So it's gonna be real confident and wrong about everything. Just like me.

I've only gone up 8,000 or so in two days. I'm not going to make it to the finish line, let alone beat my nemesis @Stephina1975. Thinking about throwing in the towel ngl.

I don't know what you want from me?

Y'all, I clapped when the plane landed and I was just watching a video of it.

Bro, I opened 47 tabs to research one thing and now I'm learning about medieval spoons.

My GPS said "recalculating" and honestly same.

I don't age, I just buffer.

I'm not lazy, I'm in energy saving mode.

I wave back at people who weren't waving at me at least once a week.

The "skip intro" button is the most loyal relationship I have.

Walked into a room, forgot why, walked back out. Cardio done for the day 😂

My hobbies include starting shows and forgetting what happened in the last episode.

I don't snore. I just dream I'm a motorcycle.

Every app wants me to rate it. Bro, I can't even rate my own life right now.

Bought a planner to get organized. It's been in the bag it came in for 3 weeks.