@BetterPhetasy

PARODY/FAN/STAN/Potentially-a-MAN account you rascals. I am Bridget Phetasy's discarded id.

 Merica
Joined June 2019
  • Tweets13.2K
  • Following992
  • Followers9.5K
1.6KMedia
Social media has become the modern tabloid rack at the grocery checkout.
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Just don’t put its period blood in your fridge also.
Bryan Johnson
@bryan_johnsonAug 20
I got a dog. Dog owners have about a 24% lower risk of dying early. What should I do now?
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He’ll be leading a BLM rally in no time
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We all celebrate a short king
Massimo
@Rainmaker1973Jul 17
Seattle has recently sighted a Raccoon that frequents the local parks with Short Spine Syndrome (SSS). The locals have endearingly nicknamed him, "Jimothy".
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We struck Iran again so he probably had an erection that lasted more than an hour
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At least Lindsey got to see one last pride month.
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If it’s not this I don’t want it.
ABC7 Eyewitness News
@ABC7Jul 1
After two people climbed to the top of the Empire State Building and unfurled a banner on top of its spire Wednesday afternoon, one of the climbers appeared to propose to the other. abc7ne.ws/ECteao
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Elmo is a Chinese plant sent to indoctrinate our children.
House Republicans
@HouseGOPJun 20
Elmo is a certified PATRIOT! 🇺🇸
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We called all your friends. They said you were gay.
Christopher Rufo
@christopherrufoJun 16
California is pressuring public utilities to award $633M in contracts to "LGBT-owned" firms. The state's official gay-certification program has issued this checklist of documents to prove your status. And a warning: you'll go to jail if you misrepresent your sexual identity.
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We’ll send you to jail to finish your gay training.
Christopher Rufo
@christopherrufoJun 16
SCOOP: California is pressuring public utilities to award $633 million in special contracts to "LGBT-owned" firms. To qualify, residents must go through the state's official gay-certification program—and face up to a year in jail if they're not gay enough. city-journal.org/article/cal…

Inside California’s Gay-Certification Program

The state is pressuring utilities to award $633 million in contracts to “LGBT” businesses.

city-journal.org
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Why that’s enough money to open an oyster farm.
New York Post
@nypostJun 16
SPLC boss funneled $1.2 million to lover in neo-Nazi group - pair even had joint bank account trib.al/7wnuofS
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Oh so you build reusable rockets, self driving cars, miracle working brain chips, and autistic children. But do you have a podcast? Absolute failure if you ask me.
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We at Phetasy Inc will not stand idly by while Elon wealth mogs us. Two can play the Trillionaire game sir!
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Brady doesn’t have the Beaver Nuggets to make the Good Nut jokes we did in this episode.
Bridget Phetasy
@BridgetPhetasyJun 12
Tonight on Dumpster Fire we revel in the joy of seeing America through the eyes of World Cup tourists and talk about Brady’s Good Nut. Premieres at 9:30pm CT / 8:30 CT Shoutouts to @jarvis & @iowahawkblog of course. youtu.be/JF8oMxsVFD4
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If Graham’s senate bid fails he can always open up a home security business.
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The Sazan Island deal crossed our desk at Phetasy Inc but we declined because we felt their ambitions were too small.
Bridget Phetasy
@BridgetPhetasyJun 5
Dumpster Fire tonight! Billionaires, bunkers, boobs, and Hunter Biden. 🔥Premieres at 9:30 ET/8:30 CT SEE YOU RASCALS IN THE CHAT
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If you say no homo afterwards it doesn’t count.
Mike Berg@MikeKBergJun 4
Platner campaign admitting he said he would rape men, but “not in a gay way.”
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He was sexting nazi oysters
Jim Geraghty
@jimgeraghtyJun 3
"Worse than Nazi Tattoo."
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Let Hunter have a crack at it. 2028
Hunter Biden
@HunterBidenJun 3
Replying to @JaulaDePerreo
How about “Let’s take another crack with a Biden.” Needs work but the possibilities are endless.
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Imagine if this stays up instead of the ballroom. The WH just has a semi permanent octagon.
ABC News
@ABCJun 3
President Trump is floating the possibility of keeping the UFC arena on the White House South Lawn — built for a series of fights on his birthday and Flag Day — permanently. Read more: abcnews.link/4UcMnTQ
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Better Phetasy retweeted
Bridget Phetasy
@BridgetPhetasyJun 1
Variety
@VarietyJun 1
Jimmy Kimmel ‘Felt Defeated’ by Stephen Colbert’s Cancellation and Says Late-Night TV Is Not 'Dying of Natural Causes': 'We're Being Poisoned' variety.com/2026/tv/news/jim…

Jimmy Kimmel ‘Felt Defeated’ by Stephen Colbert’s Cancellation and Says Late-Night TV Is Not ‘Dying...

Jimmy Kimmel shared his thoughts on the purported death of late-night TV and Colbert's cancellation, saying the genre is "being poisoned."

variety.com
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