Her: I only date bad boys Me:

Fave Dodger: Joc Pederson What an aggressively unlikable team over the past however long. I'm okay with Pederson. He has a fake ass name and a fake ass way of playing. I like it more than any other Dodger at the very least. Man fuck it replace him with Jackie Robinson

Fave Giant: Logan Webb I'm trying really hard to be contrarian here and not naming a guy from the 2010s dynasty. Is it working? Am I unique? I do actually like Webb. Love a workhorse in a league where starters don't throw 200 innings anymore it's cool to see an outlier

Fave Rockie: Ubaldo Jimenez I said it once already, but if you're a pitcher who can conquer Coors Field, I am looking at you in awe. I've never seen any other pitcher who did it better and for more innings than Jimenez. Neither have the Rockies. They don't know how to.

Fave Padre: Fernando Tatis Jr. God he's so good at baseball. I may not have a Yankees jersey but I sure do have a City Connect Tatis Jr. jersey. He's so cool man. If you hate him you probably don't have a good reason. Oh he's an asshole oh hes a showboat oh he used roids HES GOAT

Fave Dback: Ian Kennedy I was distraught when he got traded out of New York and when he had one amazing year in Arizona I never let it go. I watched his career the whole way through I loved watching that vulcan change

Fave Cub: Jake Arrieta YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD JAKE ARRIETA WAS guy crying at young bucks video

Fave Red: Johnny Cueto Another swag incarnate player, he was just fun to watched and I loved his dreads and I loved his pitching motion and I think obviously he wasn't Scherzer/Verlander level but he aged pretty decently for a couple years in his late 30s.

Fave Cardinal: Yadier Molina Noticing a pattern? What can I say i support my peoples. I'm not ashamed to root for them. I'm Puerto Rican I like Puerto Rican players, especially when they're good at what they do

Fave Pirate: Roberto Clemente They named the GOOD GUY award after him. Obviously Im gonna like the good guy who was really good at baseball. Also PR rep hell yeah. Also I lived right by Roberto Clemente Way in Spanish Harlem so his name has been around me all my life

Fave Brewer: Christian Yelich He's so fucking hot and pretty good at baseball. What else could a captain need? Christian is our designated hitter When he hit the baseball, he make the Brewers’ lights flicker

Fave Marlin: Dee Gordon I can't watch that leadoff homer after Jose Fernandez's passing without getting a lil emotional. One of my gateways into getting other people to see sports as storytelling instead of dudebro bullshit. Also loved the way he played. Soft spot for a slapper

Fave Philly: Ryan Howard Society if Ryan Howard played in the AL instead of being forced to play 1B for 13 years. I have alot of space so also shoutout Cole Hamels he's my second choice put him in the Hall too

Fave National: Max Scherzer I was there for his no-hitter against the Mets in 2015. I owe him a great debt for my life. Thank you. You are the best pitcher I've seen in real life and the greatest pitching performance I will see in real life, undoubtedly forever

Fave Brave: Matt Olson I didn't want to let this sway my opinion too much but I'll make this the only exception. I've drafted Olson in at least one fantasy draft I've played in since his Oakland days. He's so good. He's so raw. I love when he scowls after launching the ball 430ft

NL now Fave Met: Francisco Lindor I'm Puerto Rican. He's the coolest one to ever do it. And I'm from New York. He plays for NY. The Mets are cool I'm not a spiteful Met hating Yankee fan I just love our city. So I love Lindor

Pretty people really do have different problems than normal ppl its crazy

Fave Astro: Hunter Pence Another team where finding players I like is kinda difficult, and this isn't a oh they're all cheaters thing, I just can't really think of anyone. His SF run is probably more memorable but he was amazing b4 that and played his most games in Houston

Fave Angel: Vladimir Guerrero When I played pickup I modeled my batting stance after Vladdy and I was relentlessly picked on for it. This is the part where I say I had the last laugh as I hit a homer or something. Nope. I suck at baseball and looked silly, but I had fun.