contrary to what you might think I actually don’t know anything about cooking

Alabama
Joined June 2020
My preexisting conditions include very stoned, bleeding ass, and extreme libido
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Wha happened
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Yet Another thing that’s really impressive if you know nothing about it
Speech can survive being flipped backward every twenty milliseconds. The same speech in backward pieces of 200 then 100 then 50 then 20 milliseconds. The original comes last. When do the words become clear? A listening demo from @OrukLabs.
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They need to name a mf Curtis soon ain’t nobody been called Curtis in awhile
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Dr. Dog is like if the Beatles were good
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Why don’t they put vitamins in beer. Like milk
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cum chef retweeted
Replying to @BitchWaifuu
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Core memory from when I was 5 or 6 years old TV ad for boner pills: …a solution to erectile dysfunction… Me: what’s erectile dysfunction? My dad: (furious, voice shaking) don’t you ever said that out loud again
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I follow this ig account that’s a trans woman making what I think is considered fetish content of her trying to start her car that never turns over and the whole concept of that is the funniest ever to me the hashtags are like #cranking #pedalpumping #carwontstart #womensfashion
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Like it’s a video of legs with fishnets on pressing the gas pedal while you hear the starter motor running for 30 seconds and somebody is jerking off to this somewhere that’s so fucking funny to me
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One really good way to get me to kill myself is to be an app notification that comes up at the precise moment I’m going to touch a button on the screen, covering up what I wanted to do and launching discord or some kind of fucking shit instead
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I don’t understand when people are like “I’m not feeling like myself” cuz I haven’t “felt like myself” in 15 years so I kinda just don’t really remember how it’s supposed to be
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I guess he was such an ass for the first 16 years of my life because his dick wasn’t working. Understandable tbh
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An ass like that coulda only been formed by pork cracklins, fried green tomatos, lies and deceit
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I was on a Minecraft server one time and they asked me how old I was and I said almost 30 and they all laughed at me
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Monday tunday Wednesday tursday freakday sexday
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Paying $9 to get diarrhea before noon is The American Dream
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It should not cost nearly $9 for 2 biscuits from jacks
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One of the greatest joys in life is when bad things happen to the university of Alabama football team
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