@BegJiff

Follow my main account at

 Philadelphia
Joined July 2021
  • Tweets1.7K
  • Following263
  • Followers201
104Media
White comics swearing they're the only ones who can kill in a black room
Cait@spaceangelvoiceOct 14
black people like me irl bc we actually vibe. they know I actually enjoy them and it's not just performative anti racist BS. the gaelic and black psyche is not dissimilar-very soulful, very rhythmic.
29
Last one was 2015, which still feels like a fever dream
Brett Kollmann
@BrettKollmannOct 15
The most cursed Eagles season in quite a long time, and boy that's a high bar to clear.
51
I'm reserving my opinions on Money in the Bank until I find out how much money the company made
1
51
The only time a David Bowie song is any good is when it's being done by The Wallflowers
1
39
"This is America! Speak English!" - confused guy at a Rammstein concert
53
Big Jeff Danson retweeted
Magills
@magills_Sep 24
An unmasked lesbian walks into a bar. Bartender asks “why the long COVID?”
82
1,517
38
41,048
586,770
I'm at the lesbian bar. Somebody just ripped off their mask, said "this is MAGA country!" and then spit in my face.
79
I gained 8lbs while on vacation last week but surely that's all muscle
73
A midget wrestler named Micro Aggression
1
3
81
Hello sharks, my invention is a lunch that costs only $27
1
1
3
83
Boomers and Gen X will tell kids now "Quit crying because growing up I had to..." and then proceed to cry about how hard their upbringing was
1
2
75
Big Jeff Danson retweeted
doomer
@uncledoomerMay 22
the way you know that baby boomers are lying about packing a lunch and working hard every day is that they all have disgusting fat bodies that can only have come from decades of fast food slop and sedentary lifestyles
Raven
@raven_brahMay 22
Boomers seem to forget that fast food used to be a normal, everyday expense for them because it was affordable. You could get a burger easily on minimum wage, it wasn’t some fancy treat you had once a year as a reward for pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.
67
202
8
3,216
76,275
She lived on Ramen so much that she doesn't even know how to spell it
👻The🐰FOO🎃
@PolitiBunnyMay 20
Many of us in older generations lived on Raman which is still just about 50 cents a pack. And no one is forcing you to eat out… make a sandwich. Take an apple or a banana. Can of soup is a buck. Hope this helps.
1
1
98
I followed Kevin O'Leary's advice and brought a 99 cent lunch from home (it's a single slice of bread)
1
1
48
It's called alt comedy because it's an alternative to good comedy
1
1
39
Why, did something happen in 2008?
Hedgeye
@HedgeyeMay 10
🇺🇸 U.S. Fertility Rates peaked in 2007
144
1,071
26
32,467
1,199,358
I've performed standup comedy everywhere, from bars to taverns and even in pubs.
1
1
1
54
"9 Innings, 9 Hot Dogs, 9 Beers" by George Thorogood and the Destroyers
1
1
63
I want the economy to be ran by whoever is in charge of Spencer's Gifts. I've never seen one of those go out of business.
1
1
39
Whoah Pat McAfee gave people the middle finger! He's such a heel!
1
2
132
Load more