Did you know that the way a woman looks will impact whether her rapist or abuser is found guilty in a courtroom? This was one of the most depressing findings of my PhD years ago. Here’s what I learned: If a woman is raped or abused, and she is seen as unattractive, overweight, gender non-conforming, if she is Black, if she is disabled or in some other way ‘unconventional’ to the white thin het femme norm, she is more likely for her case to be found not guilty or to be dropped. When jurors and professionals have been asked why this was, they stated that they didn’t believe unattractive women would be raped or abused by men, and that she was probably lying. HOWEVER - and here’s the fuckin kicker… If a woman is raped or abused, and she is seen as very attractive, thin, White, or in some other way seen as beautiful… she is also likely for her case to be found not guilty or to be dropped. When researchers asked jurors and professionals why this happened, they stated that they felt the woman must have led the man on, and it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t control himself when she was so attractive. They were also more likely to employ rape myths about her wanting it or asking for it. Worst of all, these findings apply to children: teenage girls. So the moral of this vile misogynistic story is that: Women, we can’t win. They might pretend it’s about our appearance, but either way, we will be blamed and framed as liars. Our bodies will be used against us whether we are size 8 or size 22. It doesn’t matter whether we have long wavy locks or a short crop, it will be used. It doesn’t matter if we were running on a treadmill or we were in our wheelchair, it will be used against us. This is misogyny. This is the reality of our courts. This is why we can’t/won’t/don’t prosecute rape of women and girls. Because no matter what he did, observers always find a way to blame the woman.