ThuggishRuggishMudfish

Yes, I turned Forrest Gump into Forrest Bump. I also wrote 10,000 words on the movie, the money, the shrimp empire and the sequel they never made. Apparently I can make stupid fucking jokes and teach you something in the same breath.

Been clowning the fuck out of some wrestling podcasters, well one wrestling podcaster, but watch me turn around and teach you something too. Forrest Gump is the next installment in my movie article series, and the sequel that never happened is a pretty fucking interesting story, because there is another book, there is a screenplay, and Paramount had every commercial reason to want another movie. Tom Hanks, Bob Zemeckis and Eric Roth never found a creative reason strong enough to make it. The original came out in 1994, made roughly $678M worldwide and won 6 Oscars. Winston Groom published Gump & Co. in 1995, and Paramount bought the film rights for $2M. You have a recognizable character, a massive audience, another book and the possibility of bringing back the same team. You can understand the calculation. The next novel takes Forrest (Gump, not Bump) through the 1980s and 1990s. His shrimp business has collapsed, he’s broke, sweeping floors in a New Orleans strip club and raising his son. There’s football, New Coke, Oliver North and even an encounter with Tom Hanks (my "Bump vs. Gump" joke was my own little ode to it). The book and Eric Roth’s screenplay are different versions of the continuation, and people frequently combine their details. There’s also a misconception that Groom’s fight with Paramount over profits prevented the sequel. He’d received $350,000 for the original rights plus 3% of net profits, and the studio’s accounting initially showed no net profit payable under that arrangement. Groom later explicitly denied that the dispute held up another movie. Paramount bought the sequel rights and could use them. Roth’s description of his screenplay is pretty wild. Forrest Jr. would get AIDS, and the other families resist their kids going to school with him. Forrest would ride in the back of O.J. Simpson’s Bronco during the chase, become a ballroom dancer and dance with Princess Diana. He also finds love with a Native American woman and works as a bingo caller on a reservation. That woman teaches nursery school in the federal building in Oklahoma City. Forrest is outside, waiting to have lunch with her, when the building explodes. Roth says he delivered the screenplay on... September 10, 2001. After 9/11, Roth, Hanks and Zemeckis felt the story no longer had the same relevance. Given the Oklahoma City sequence, you can understand their reaction. My read is that the way audiences would experience that material had changed overnight. Hanks’ objection went further. In 2022, he recalled discussing another Forrest Gump for around only 40 minutes before deciding to leave it alone. That doesn’t mean the entire project existed for 40 minutes. A book, rights deal and completed screenplay already exist. This is part of why you see so many all-time classic films that don’t have sequels. When something is that close to that many people’s hearts, you need a pretty compelling reason to revisit it. People wanting to spend more time with those characters is understandable, but you’re asking them to reopen a story they’ve loved for years, sometimes their entire lives, and whatever you add becomes part of how they remember it. Hanks was probably the biggest piece of this. Zemeckis was obviously an enormous part of what made Forrest Gump work, but the studio could have pursued another filmmaker. Getting Hanks to believe there was a reason to play Forrest again is, in my view, the essential thing. He understands what the movie means to people, and I think there’s real wisdom jn being willing to walk away where the first movie ended. There are very few Top Gun: Mavericks. It’s possible to come back years later and give people something that deepens their connection to the original, but that’s an incredibly difficult thing to pull off. I respect knowing when you’ve given people something special and being willing to let it stand. Anyway, Forrest Gump is next up in my article series. 🤟

Forrest Bump, Part 6. Shit happens.

Forrest Bump, Part 5. He’s sorry he had a fight in the middle of your Black Panther party.

Forrest Bump, Part 4. Jenny asked Bump if he knew what love was. He wasn’t sure, but he had an exclusive offer for first time customers.

Forrest Bump, Part 3. Bump broke the company record. The drill sergeant called him gifted. I’d have ordered a wellness test first.

Forrest Bump, Part 2. For no particular reason, he’ll run across America before explaining what the fuck you’re getting for your $7. Your subscription will renew while he’s gone.

She’s waiting for the bus. He’s waiting for a $2 Super Chat before he finishes the story. Meet Forrest Bump.

The final 4 now have rare alternate editions. Bix, Meltzer, Sapp and Bethel, the Spirit Halloween semifinal collection. New jokes, same problem: the packaging is worth more than what’s inside.

Here’s the whole collection, all 16. Happy Halloween to everyone who can take a joke, and especially everyone who can’t. 🎃

By request @IndigoGordon