@AverageCynic

Would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 🇺🇦

 Oxford, England
Joined June 2010
  • Tweets35.8K
  • Following1.5K
  • Followers614
1.8KMedia
Had to watch Goldeneye earlier, because my microwave dinner had the instruction "Pierce film before heating".
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Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of pants? In case they shit them I think that's the punchline, I dunno. I'll be honest, it's been a while since I've heard this one. Took a flyer on it. #jokes #classic
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Nothing to see here, just Ancient Greeks making dildoughs, as you do. Fuck-accia Ciabatt-her Pit-ahhhhhh Pump-her-nickel Naan-of-your-business Sorry everyone. I'm not proud of this tweet.
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It's beyond shameful that Rishi Sunak thinks threatening to sack nurses and teachers is the answer. We’ll oppose this divisive attack on working people. huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/s…

Sunak Proposes Laws To 'Sack Teachers And Nurses For Going On Strike'

Report suggests prime minister's anti-strike legislation could be announced this week.

huffingtonpost.co.uk
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Is anyone else doing Dry January? I am... And I'm so confident, that I've taken the rubber sheet off my bed. #DryJanuary #dryjanuary2023
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That's it. That's the story.
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James Murphy retweeted
Dr Rosena
@DrRosena4 Jan 2023
Labour are a team, @Keir_Starmer, @WesStreeting and I are fully united in our determination to fix the NHS. The most urgent issue facing the NHS is a lack of staff. That is why Labour has a plan to reform healthcare across the country, recruiting more staff.
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James Murphy retweeted
Gary Neville
@GNev24 Jan 2023
They did!
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.@JustEatUK One of your drivers has marked order as "Delivered" but they have not been here! We just applied for a refund and have had an immediate reply saying request has been declined (because this happened previously). You need to look at your driver in the Castleford area!!
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It's a terrible business strategy to call the customer a liar if your driver fails at their job twice. We are going to go through PayPal for the refund. Really shitty service.
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Is this a parody account? It must be, surely. The number of beds isn't the problem... There are no staff to look after the people in those bed (main reason for Nurse's strikes) This is like saying a single builder could build more stuff if you simply give him 5 toolkits.
John Redwood
@johnredwood17 Dec 2022
We hear how the NHS is short of beds. Why don’t managers put more in?
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Hi @RoyalMail I know you've had strikes, but a Xmas present was posted on 6th December and the tracking is still showing as "we've got it" at the post office it was posted at. Can you check this is true. And if it is, why hasn't it moved anywhere in almost 3 weeks?!
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Thanks for the "Goodwill Gesture" @JustEatUK We ordered lunch and half of the order was totally missing. You very kindly refunding us for stuff we didn't get is awfully nice. It's the same level of service that I've had from Nissan, and I've never bought anything from Nissan
Grealish really does give you so many extra options when he comes on. He can receive the ball, take it forward 3 paces, before stopping, turning around and passing back to Luke Shaw. Or he can receive the ball, take it forward 4 paces.... #ENGSEN #WorldCup
Netherlands looking like they could really "Netherlands" this. #WorldCup #NEDUSA
Just incredible. Where are the medical experts?!? Clearly a very nasty head injury. No way should he have been allowed to continue for any amount of time. #FIFAWorldCup
I'm calling it now. 70+% possession = a 1-0 win (Kane penalty) #FIFAWorldCup #ENGIRN
England dressing room before kick off Southgate: "Remember lads. Most importantly of all... It's "God save the KING" now. Okay? Let's go!" #FIFAWorldCup #ENGIRN
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James Murphy retweeted
LBC
@LBC2 Sep 2022
James O'Brien lists the 'worst' of Boris Johnson. 'While the rest of us have been reeling with disgust and horror at what this man has done to our democracy, Liz Truss has been taking notes.' @mrjamesob

James O'Brien lists the 'worst' of Boris Johnson.

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I can’t get enough of this. He’s like a reverse Robin Hood. Taking from the have-nots to give the wealthy more places to sit outside Pret A Manger. It doesn’t surprise me, it’s just fantastic that he’s just come out and said it.
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