Ward’s Words #1916 I would never enter my child in a spelling bee. If you win an Olympic gold metal, 20 years later no one expects you to maintain that level of physical excellence. If you win a National Spelling Bee, people are waiting for you to slip-up for a lifetime.

Ward’s Words #1914 If the world is radiometrically dated at around 4.54 billion years old why do we say this is the year 2026?

Ward’s Words #1913 Birdwatching becomes more horrifying when you realize they evolved from dinosaurs.

Ward’s Words #1912 I’m not old. I just have a ton of experience points.

Ward’s Words #1911 We, here at Ward’s Words Labs, are bringing back the ICQ messaging app. Not for it’s outdated architecture. We just miss its "uh-oh" notification sound.

Ward’s Words #1910 Boy, tech support on MySpace has been terrible lately. It’s like nobody’s there.

If you have a ring doorbell camera you need to see this ad that was run during the Super Bowl. The ramifications of this is HORRIFYING. youtu.be/YP9pOVNILFQ?si=OxLX… via @YouTube

Ward’s Words #1910 While watching the TV show American Ninja Warrior, I had a nagging feeling that I’ve seen this before. Then it dawned on me. We did this every day back in the 60s and 70s only without the padding and other safety gear. It was called recess.

Ward’s Words #1909 We, here at Ward’s Words, have designed a new game show. It’s based on what kids in the 60s played with. Imagine the horror when Gen Z contestants have to play a game of Lawn Jarts, or ride a bike with no helmet and knee pads.

Ward’s Words #1908 After visiting San Francisco, I can confidently say that Rice-A-Roni isn’t a treat at all.

Ward’s Words #1907 Women’s clothing sizes, are a nightmare for boyfriends and new husbands. What does a size 6 mean? Is it inches? Juniors, misses, petites… I don’t understand the math. I just get my wife a medium and let her sort it out after opening the gift.

Ward’s Words #1906 A few decades ago I was at a wedding where their wedding song was Whitney Houston’s “I will always love you.” Needless to say, the marriage didn’t age well.

Ward’s Words #1905 We, here at Ward’s Words, have a much needed product set to hit the market. We have a complete line of clothes hangers specifically designed for treadmills.

Ward’s Words #1904 Ok supervillains, I’m going to explain why you lost every time you fought Captain America. Don’t shoot for the shield. Aim for his legs or feet. Maybe his head or shoulders. His shield may look like a target, but it’s too small for a grown man to hide behind.

If you got a new eReader for Christmas don't forget to pick up your ***FREE*** copy of 'Parasite; The True Story of the Zombie Apocalypse.’ Everywhere ebooks are sold. is.gd/5TfT2P #zombies #apocalypse #book

If you think you’re safe from zombies because you live in the country, you gotta read Doug Ward’s short story ‘Saving Jebediah; Another True Story of the Zombie Apocalypse.’ It’s a ***FREE*** Mark Tufo fan fiction. is.gd/MoHdRi #zombies #shortstory #undead

Who doesn’t like Bigfoot or ghosts? ‘A World Unseen’ is a collection of short stories that will disturb you. is.gd/3KUtkw Get yours today. It's FREE.

Doug Ward is known for writing horror, but now he’s taking on fantasy. His first book, ‘Lich,' is ***FREE*** so what are you waiting for? Dive in. is.gd/5V7atQ #free #necromancer #Lich

Den and his companions are off to Dunn Moor Keep which is besieged by monsters. Will they be able to defeat the horde? Read Doug Ward's, “Horde." is.gd/Horde #Horde #dungeons&dragons

An evil horde of monsters has gathered at Dunn Moor Keep? Read Doug Ward’s “Demons,” to find out, get yours today! is.gd/KFWjeo