I’ve just realised I can feel a small hole in the toe of my sock. My day is ruined…

Only @Skrillex would drop an Album teaser called ‘Fuck U Skrillex, you think ur Andy Warhol But ur not’ on APRIL FOOLS DAY, then actually follow through with the release 24 hours later and release a 34 track art / concept album made to be listened start to finish.

Reality TV show idea : Politicians have to work a normal job and live on minimum wage to see what it’s like. Maybe that will change their opinions on certain policies.

I wish I'd paid more attention in my first rodeo.

Been waiting to see @fredagainagain1 since Laneway got cancelled last year, missed out on wellington tickets and now he's playing in Akl and I've just seen flights are $650 😭 One day I'll manage to see him! Come to the south island 🥺

Yeah sex is pretty good, but have you ever plugged a USB in the right way round first try?

I kinda miss that part of the pandemic where it was illegal for people to be anywhere near me.

I just want to find someone that looks at me the way @fredagainagain1 looks at @Skrillex and @FourTet ...

I've not seen many 'This is gonna be my year' posts lately. The last few years really made us give up on that shit didn't it...

What's my Age Again? used to be a cool song. Now I'm old enough that it's a genuine question...

Hey @ModernMilkman_ why have you taken my mums money and not delivered what was ordered? And now not answering her emails?

If all these American are so pro life that they want to ban abortions, why aren’t they all pushing as hard for universal healthcare and to ban guns?

Me: sorry im late I broke down on the way to work Boss: is your car okay? Me: car?

The biggest plot twist of covid 19 is the fact that QR codes have actually become useful.

British people laughed at ‘trumps america’ at how racist and dumb his ideas were….. you know we’re in the same position now but the people doing it are oxford educated right?!