Beautiful movie idea: a modernization of Fitzcarraldo where Cooper Hoffman pushes a Honda Accord through the Darien Gap

Every morning I express gratitude by shooting my guns in the air like Yosemite Sam. Every night I remember the dead with a 21 gun salute. And I’m firing at the sky for various reasons throughout the day.

Sex should only be legal one night a year, and everyone who has sex on that night should still be arrested. Yes, what they did was technically legal, but we can’t let them get away with it

Dead men tell no tales? Speak for yourself, I’m never gonna shut up once I die. What have I got to lose. I’ll sing like a bird.

It would be so frustrating to be friends with Forrest Gump. I would always be telling him to shut up about the sixties and seventies.

I'm the guy Michael Richards said all that stuff to. I have so many unanswered questions about that night

I was honored to make this poster for the first movie by @matthewgoldin and @jayweingarten. I feel so much honor it’s making me sick.

YARROW MARKET

Oh hell yeah

Do yourself a favor and google "full frontal nudity.” You won't be disappointed

Sharks, today I’m pitching an island where children act savagely to each other

Remember the hookah smoking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland? That guy was awesome. More bugs should smoke weed

I want the pope to die. I have a great tweet for when he passes away (it’s respectful)

Finally, some good news