Therapist, relationship coach, and author - specializing in #anxiety, emotion and communication skills, and the good and bad of #relationships.

Gig Harbor, WA, USA
Joined October 2011
I now have 15 self-help and therapist-help books on Amazon covering topics such as anxiety, understanding and processing emotions, communication skills, partner abuse, and how to build the skill of joy. annsilvers.com/blogs/news/an…
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Ann Silvers retweeted
This is such a significant, and LONG overdue, ruling that recognizes male victims of false accusations in universities! To truly understand why this ruling is a big deal, we only need to look back to around 15 years ago, when Obama’s April 4, 2011 Dear Colleague letter required the lowest standard of evidence in campus sexual misconduct cases! Naturally, that led to far too many UNFAIR cases. This case itself highlights the severe human cost of that shift. A male student at the University of Maryland was falsely accused in October 2020. A Title IX hearing in August 2021 found him not responsible, with the hearing officer writing that the accuser’s credibility was “significantly undermined” and that forensic testing contradicted her claims. Despite being cleared, the harassment did NOT stop. He was called a rapist, confronted, and removed from the club lacrosse team after the team was told he was a rapist and under investigation. The jury ultimately found the university “deliberately indifferent,” ruling that the harassment was “so severe, pervasive, and objectively offensive that it deprived him of equal access to an educational opportunity or benefit.” His lawyer, Jason Greaves, noted that this is the first time a jury has found that false accusations of rape can constitute sexual harassment, and the first time a university has been held liable for it. As Greaves explained, “A school that will move heaven and earth for an accuser, then declare itself powerless once the accused has been cleared and is being publicly destroyed, has discriminated on the basis of sex.” Greaves also emphasized the intent behind the legal battle: “We asked for only $1 in damages because this case was not about money. Our client wanted accountability.” Ultimately, this verdict establishes a vital legal precedent for male students, signaling that universities cannot simply wash their hands of a wrongfully accused young man once a disciplinary proceeding ends. By holding institutions accountable for post-clearance harassment, the ruling forces a long overdue reckoning with how schools handle the safety and equal educational access of male students who have been cleared of misconduct.
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The more I read of the Cornell 7 case documents the angrier I get. While even the expectation of "consent check-ins" is insane in the context of a drug-fueled orgy, this woman is accusing of rape: - guys who themselves passed out and were more intoxicated than she was by her own admission (where's their rape case?) - guys who every time she expressed any kind of even mild wish to the contrary, stopped sexual activity and even sat her down to recover from voluntary drug-induced dizziness to make sure she was ok - guys she explicitly and in writing told a day or two later that the sexual contact was "legal" - three guys who had NO SEXUAL CONTACT with her whatsoever, who only walked in briefly, backed out, and went for a Big Mac - another guy whose only sexual contact with her was a kiss This is bonkers.
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Interesting take.
The eternally validated Camille Paglia Women cannot have it both ways, they can’t insist on coddling and being infantilized and not being held responsible for reckless choices, and then also demand equal rights and total sexual liberation/freedom
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I don’t usually like long social posts, but this one is a great explanation of the Lindsay Clancy case. People want to blame everyone but Lindsay. She got, and had, a lot of help and support. She had options.
I’ve been shouting this because I worked in mental health and I understand how these assessments are actually done. People keep rewriting this story as though Lindsay was openly announcing, “I am going to kill my children,” while Patrick and an army of doctors stood around doing nothing. That is not what the timeline shows. When Lindsay reported unwanted thoughts about harming the children, she was roughly seven months postpartum. According to Patrick’s account, she was disturbed by those thoughts and denied having a plan. Clinicians explained that unwanted, ego-dystonic thoughts can be intrusive thoughts — frightening thoughts a person does not want and does not intend to carry out. And “no plan” is not some meaningless technicality. In mental-health risk assessment, there is an enormous difference between having a disturbing thought, having an intention to act, and having a specific plan for how you intend to do it. Clinicians look at the entire picture: intent, plan, means, access, psychosis, hallucinations, behavior, sleep, agitation, history, and whether the person is frightened by the thoughts or embracing them. That does NOT mean someone with no plan is automatically safe. It means clinicians actually have to assess risk, rather than hospitalizing every person who reports an unwanted intrusive thought. And Lindsay was not simply abandoned or denied care. She had providers. She was being treated. Patrick was involved. Her family was involved. She went to the ER. She was admitted to McLean Hospital for inpatient psychiatric treatment. She was discharged on January 5, 2023, and according to the prosecution, she denied continuing intrusive thoughts at that point. Two days later, she attended Cora’s fifth-birthday party. Then, 19 days after leaving McLean, Cora, Dawson and Callan were killed. We can absolutely examine whether a doctor missed something, whether a medication decision was appropriate, or whether a different treatment course might have changed anything. Those are legitimate questions. But hindsight does not magically turn Patrick into someone who knowingly left his children with a person announcing an intention to kill them. It does not mean her family “failed” her. And it does not mean every professional who treated her ignored an obvious homicidal threat. A lot of people were trying to help Lindsay. They could only respond to what she reported, what they observed, and the risk she appeared to present at that particular moment. They could only help her so much. It was up to her to want the help and take the action to get better - which she dropped the ball on…over and over. And this is where I draw the line: I am not going to transfer responsibility for what happened to Cora, Dawson and Callan onto Patrick, her parents, or every clinician who tried to help her. Whatever arguments are made about Lindsay’s mental state or legal responsibility, the actions that killed those three children were her actions. We can discuss treatment failures without turning everyone around her into the villains of this story.
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“Promoting privilege for women and neglect for men” — well said.
Tackle actual misogyny but don’t (as we often do) assume all adversity experienced by women is misogyny. It isn’t If we only tackle harmful attitudes about women but neglect harmful attitudes about men, we create a gaping disparity promoting privilege for women & neglect for men
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Today’s smile.
Five African grey parrots were removed from public view at Lincolnshire Wildlife Park in the UK after repeatedly swearing at visitors and laughing together. The parrots—Billy, Eric, Tyson, Jade, and Elsie—were donated by different owners but quickly bonded.
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Men being men
What a great guy. Goodwill is contagious. @NYCMayorsOffice
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Wow. Very inspiring.
किसी ने सच कहा है “मंजिल उन्हीं को मिलती है, जिनके सपनों में जान होती है, पंखों से कुछ नहीं होता, हौसलों से उड़ान होती है।”
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
इस पोस्ट से जुड़ा वीडियो AI-जनित है, जिसमें जिमनास्ट के शरीर में विकृत या गायब अंग जैसी त्रुटियां दिख रही हैं जो वास्तविक क्लिप में नहीं होतीं। arstechnica.com/information-te… petapixel.com/2024/07/10/hil… x.com/YPToprani/stat…
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Ann Silvers retweeted
Studies show that males now account for roughly one in three diagnosed eating disorder cases, and they are significantly more likely to die by their eating disorder than women are. This man is very brave to share his story and raise awareness. newsweek.com/i-hid-my-eating…
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This
“Men have sacrificed and crippled themselves physically and emotionally to feed, house, and protect women and children. None of their pain or achievement is registered in feminist rhetoric, which portrays men as oppressive and callous exploiters.” – Camille Paglia
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I had not thought about the trauma to first responder tow truck drivers before.
When addressing men’s mental health, too many people just say “men need to open up more.” Ridiculous. I want to address the actual problems, like how first-responder tow truck drivers, 96% male, don’t receive the same mental health benefits as other first responders. A weekend read from me over on S: lisabritton.substack.com/p/s…
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Firefighters across the U.S. climbed 110 flights of stairs to honor the heroes lost at the World Trade Center on 9/11 xitter.cf/pahrduve/status/196632…
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Ann Silvers retweeted
Wow…a former nurse who gets it and refuses to be beguiled by the same Lindsay psychopathy…nicely said 😎
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Ann Silvers retweeted
Yesterday when I was at One World Trade Center, I ran into a group of New York firemen taking a group picture. They were there honoring those who lost their lives 25 years ago. It reminded me of a statistic most people don’t know. That day, all 343 FDNY who died saving others were men. Men are heroes and protectors. We should show more appreciation for that.
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Ann Silvers retweeted
Yup. That's me 😅😅
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Patriarchy "theory" is a false accusation. The "wage gap" myth is a false accusation. "Rape culture" is a false accusation. "Toxic masculinity" is a false accusation. All men and boys are falsely accused, even without being directly targeted by individual criminal allegations.
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When Timothy Jones Jr. killed his five kids, he didn’t raise $1,200,000 on GoFundMe. He received the death penalty by unanimous decision. When John Battaglia shot his two daughters while their mother listened over the phone, nobody wore pink shirts to his trial. He was executed in 2018. When Anthony Milan Ross shot his two children and their mother on Christmas Day, he got the death sentence. When Cameron Todd Willingham’s three daughters died in a house fire by his hand, he didn’t get a fundraiser in his name. He got death. When Lindsay Clancy killed three of her kids, 11 jurors sided with her, and $1,200,000 poured in on GoFundMe. PBD: “You notice a pattern here?” Men who kill their kids: death. Women: sympathy, donations, and one juror away from walking free.
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