@AndyJWhite

I'm a stand up comedian. I pull funny faces and do silly voices. If one of my tweets amuses you, feel free to RT.

 Birmingham, UK
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets10.5K
  • Following987
  • Followers2.5K
241Media
Don't know about you, but I'm starting to think that 1966 was a fluke.
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Nigel Farage vs Carol Vordeman: Robert Kenyon won't know which bum to kiss. – at West Bromwich, England
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Happy 4th July, USA – at West Bromwich, England
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Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) retweeted
Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈 🇺🇦@craiguitoJun 30
A Bloody Mary is just a horny gazpacho
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If they make enough sequels to Jurrasic Park eventually they will remake Chicken Run. – at West Bromwich, England
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Shakespeare was born on April 23 and died on April 23. So today he gets to be and not to be. – at West Bromwich, England
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Asked Claude AI to teach me philosophy. Just submitted my first essay. Claude gave me 68%. Qualified human gave me 48% Wish I'd written about Stoicism. I'd have taken the result a lot better. – at West Bromwich, England
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Chuck Norris isn't resting in peace. He roundhouse kicked St Peter and sommersaulted over the pearly gates. – at West Bromwich, England
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When Chuck Norris saw the light at the end of the tunnel he stared at it until it blinked. – at West Bromwich, England
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Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) retweeted
The Glee Club Birmingham@GleeClubBhamMar 11
Tonight in the Studio! @chortle Hotshots: @AndyJWhite (host), Henning Nilsen, @TalDavies , Alex Lennox, Lawrence Dodd, Daniel Tizon, Kat Higgins, Shawn Uyosa, Mark O'Keeffe & Aalex Mandel-Dallal Doors: 7:30pm Last entry: 7:45pm Approx finish: 9:45pm 🎟 bit.ly/ChortleGleeBham
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Treehuggers 1, Flagshaggers Nil ❤️ – at West Bromwich, England
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So glad the Queen isn't around to see this. It would have broken her bank account. – at West Bromwich, England
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Reposting my brief encounter with the man who has just joined Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. – at West Bromwich, England
Andy White - Comedian (He/Him)@AndyJWhite13 Aug 2021
This just happened. Saw playwright Tom Stoppard in the street. *Excuse me, sir, are you Tom Stoppard? *Yes I am. *I heard you on Radio 4 talking about your play Leopoldstadt. *So you recognised my face from the radio? *Err yes And then he left.
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Nearly forgot that today is the birthday of Doctor Who. Fortunately, he reminded me next week.
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"I think therefore I am what I am." Rene Gaycartes – at West Bromwich, England
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Actually, Reform do want black faces in ads. – at Lickey, England
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After watching the recent murder on TV, I have a question: Has Selena Gomez lost weight? – at West Bromwich, England
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Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) retweeted
Gary Powndland@powndland31 Aug 2025
Mac Bernie (Andrew McBurney) & Tash (Jack Kirwan) Live at Glee Club This is Tash’s stage debut. Miss you ah kid! ❤️
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RIP Norman Tebbit – at West Bromwich, England
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Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) retweeted
The Glee Club Birmingham@GleeClubBham23 Jun 2025
📆 Sunday: Rough Works, featuring Adam Beardsmore, @JoshPughComic, @LBarpaga, Darren Harriott, @ourladyofFlan, @AndyJWhite, @TalDavies, @kwamedy & James Cook New material from the Midlands' finest comics Tickets 🎟 bit.ly/RoughWorksBrum
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