@AlexShaneMoore
Joined October 2011
  • Tweets16.8K
  • Following1K
  • Followers5.5K
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Being in a group chat with people who go to bars in a city you don’t live in: “Chumbo’s tonight?” “Come to The Side Yard” “We’re at Slime Rodger’s” “I’m at Pink Deer and then I’m going to Dern’s roommate’s ketamine party” “Where’s that?” “It’s right next to Dance Pants”
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Not drinking is turning me into even more of a republican. If I can't have anything good, neither should anyone else. Nothing ever happened to me once my whole life
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A movie I co-wrote starts shooting tomorrow. This is a first for me. I’m 43. Don’t ever quit.
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Responded to an ad to join a society that hunts vampires and I was. Just robbed
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its kinda insane how much Spielberg's depiction of Omaha Beach in Saving Private Ryan altered the historical perception of D-Day, like permanently
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Replying to @longlongfern
I want to stone you
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Let this show die.
Out of Context Simpsons Treehouse of Horror 🎃@OOCCouchGagsOct 19
Apu is officially back!!!!
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I’m being attacked from every side and I have all the proof handy in my mind
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[in war] Me: do you guys take prisoners? Enemy: No Me: Oh dang, could I get my gun back?
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Offering boomers market value for their homes:
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Her dad got 4,418 Americans killed in Iraq so I guess it's a tie on who's worse, her or Shane Gillis.
New York Post
@nypostOct 13
Jenna Bush Hager slams Shane Gillis’ ‘SNL’ monologue as backlash against comedian piles up: ‘It’s not OK’ trib.al/R96oPGb
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The nice thing about the people pretending to be mad about Shane Gillis who actually watched the clip do not exist
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This has been the most people have talked about SNL since the last time Shane Gillis hosted.
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Guy told a joke where the punchline is that he was a disgusting looking pervert but people couldn't even get to it cause they're so stupid now their brain shuts down the second they hear something even mildly controversial
Emilio@TheFilmMaestroOct 11
I dont know what turns my stomach more, the fact that Shane Gillis was on Saturday Night Live tonight and said women at the gym “dress like whores” or that there was people in that audience who found his disgusting bit of so-called humor funny. #SNL
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nobody is actually upset about what shane gillis said on SNL. in reality, NBC universal, a subsidiary of the comcast corporation, paid a PR firm a substantial sum of money to spam astroturfed UGC to whip up a manufactured controversy in an attempt to save SNL from its slow death
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The tech oligarchs got worried about getting crushed in the primaries and hit the big red button that floods all the algorithms with 2020 era “woke” discourse to remind everyone that libs are really fucking annoying
TMZ
@TMZOct 12
"Schitt's Creek" star Dan Levy rips Shane Gillis "SNL" monologue as misogynistic. 🎥: Instagram/instadanjlevy
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it's gotta feel so fuckin good to be an old guy and just lie about outrageous shit
Daily Mail
@DailyMailOct 13
Paul McCartney, 84, claims he can 'remember being born' as he recalls hearing the 'clanging of forceps' after his delivery trib.al/Xw38WaC

Paul McCartney, 84, claims he can 'remember being born'

Paul McCartney, 84, has claimed he can 'remember being born' after recalling hearing the 'clanging of forceps' during his delivery.

dailymail.com
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(Gun to my head) “I’m going to ask you one more time and I’m going to kill you if you lie. What is your name?” “Meg Man.”
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Wearing a v-neck to the gym disqualifies you from having a voice about gyms. Also, crazy to look like Mr. Clean if he didn’t workout while in the parking lot of a gym
Derek Webb@derekwebbOct 12
hey shane
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I’m sure her heart is in the right place, and she’s only wrong about the average Midwest grandmother being a Democrat, but immediately blocking me so I can’t respond at all is objectively a funny move. Godspeed, Jennifer.
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