The best time to quit Twitter was 500 days ago. The second-best time is right now.

I gifted a fellow artist a giant, circular archival canvas I’d made and they made a Jackson Pollack out of it. 🖌️🎨

𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚: THE PRINTER OF MY DISCONTENT™

I am not particularly interested in your epistemic prowess on matters that fall outside the scope of your area of expertise.

The #costco in #RedDeer was giving out samples of enormous BBQ chicken drumsticks and chicken wings today. You could make, like, three circuits around the store and practically eat a whole chicken.

That @brittlestar guy is one of the rare breed of modern YouTubers who, on some deep existential level, looks like he’s doing all his comedy bits at gunpoint.

I’m not going to judge it until it’s finished, but holy crap does this season of ‘True Detective’ happen super fast. Folks travel to distant Arctic locations before breakfast, and every event in the story has happened in the past four days.

If you were to say the word 'fake' in Pig Latin, wouldn't it be 'ache-fey'? What the flying donut is Kayfabe?

Vladimir Jankélévitch claimed that the deepest apprehension of music comes from 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 it. Even at levels of enactment as humble as tapping one's feet or humming a breath.

If I ever hit a deer on one of my many trips to Calgary, it won’t be because I didn’t see the deer. It will be because I was temporarily flash-blinded by some stupid overpowered LED headlights.

I kind of like this new / old YouTube aesthetic of remixing 80s songs so they sound like they're playing in an empty abandoned mall. youtube.com/watch?v=w76t36Fz…

Now we know Jodie Foster was almost Princess Leia, we need to find out who was almost Capt. Jean-Luc Picard.

In the first, like, thirty seconds of the new Aquaman movie, a 𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒆 whinnies.

Every time someone uses the term 'radio silence', my brain immediately starts looping the Thomas Dolby song from his Golden Age Of Wireless album.

Whenever you lose something that you “put away,” start keeping it in the very first place you started looking for it.

Alexa, play 'The Hymn of Acxiom'.

Huh. Someone in Bardstown, Kentucky wants to gain access to my LinkedIn account quite badly.

Let's call it Xitter, so we can pronounce it '𝒔𝒉𝒊·𝑡𝑟'.