Alexandria Ocasio-Computer

I don't think any person in America should die because they are ugly and they smell bad.

I was nominated at first by a group called Justice Democrats. They were trying to steal my cereal.

I can't name a single issue with roots in race that doesn't have economic implications, and I cannot think of a good comeback.

But me ? I'm going up that hill and I hope you get eaten by a qgar

Women like me aren't supposed to made out of earth... That would be terrible.

There has almost never been a Pope Batman

I will be damned if the same politicians who refused to act then are going to try to expose robots.

Hey girl, are you a Marxist revolutionary? Cos I'd like you to sing it again, but this time green energy.

Just landed - a long trip, but everybody can now feel much safer than the day I took office. There is no longer a 30 year old virgin! I turned 31 today.

Boulder brought the house down this morning! Big thanks to all the girls that got pregnant last night and don't know it yet.

STAGES OF DRUNK: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. This is not a job, it is indentured servitude.

I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there's no point to voting.

People tell you things... they tell you what they're wearing.

You're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

Yo, @NRA - you seemed to have had a dream, but Chuck Norris had a body count.

No thank you GPS.I have this magic ring on my left hand so it will be a surprise.

Got'chu feelin me the way that my identity formed my methods.

The 70s had it right. Back then, ugly people were allowed to take photos.

If you're differently-abled, if you're a pretentious douchebag, do you buy honey in a plastic flip-top bear?

What would Netflix even do if i sent them back a DVD of me doing karate? They'd have no choice but to impeach.

Mentors of mine were under a big pressure to minimize their femininity to make it. I'm not going to shower!