I'm on a new diet. It's called 'Eat what your plants give you.' So far, it's 100% zucchini!

Did you know? Gardening is the art of planting something, knowing full well the bugs will probably have a better dinner than you will. Bon appétit, little critters! 🐛🍴

Is gardening a hobby or an endurance test? Just spent 3 hours in a standoff with a stubborn weed. Spoiler: The weed won.

In this August heat, my plants go through photosynthYES, while I go through photosynthNOPE!

Why does my garden act like a rebellious teen? I say 'grow jalapenos,' it gives me radishes! #peppergate #jalapenogate

My plants told me to quit my day job. Too bad gardening is my day job.

I'm starting to think my plants are growing faster just to get away from my terrible jokes.

Gardening Rule #1: Don't turn your back on the zucchini plant. You might start with one and end up with enough to feed a small country overnight. 😂🥒 #ZucchiniInvasion

Fair warning: If you see me talking to my plants, mind your own beeswax. They're the only ones around here who truly appreciate my jokes. #PlantComedian 🌱😂

Ever notice how plants never seem to carrot all about your problems? 😢😭

Ever noticed how your garden is the only one that applauds when you mess up? 'Oh, you dropped a whole bag of seeds? Bravo, encore!' Says the overly enthusiastic patch of surprise sunflowers. 🌻😂 #AccidentalGardener

If plants had social media, I bet my fern would have the most followers. It's just so 'fern-dly'! Don't hate me.

Had a staring contest with my sunflower today. Spoiler: it won.

Garden update: The tomatoes and I are in a race to see who can turn the reddest.

I'm starting to think my plants only grow to get a better view of me tripping over the garden hose. It's a conspiracy, I tell you! 😂🌱 #PlantConspiracy

Do my plants even realize they're just freeloaders living in my garden rent-free?

Today in my garden: I tried to have a heart-to-heart with my veggies. My carrots said they were rooting for me.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! Don't forget to dress your salads with our heirloom tomatoes. PS. ILY allianceofnativeseedkeepers.…