PitPrincess

Almost drunk.

Every 3-6 months I think of how a blind guy walked smack into me while using his walking stick.

Reason #37 I’m not having kids: 8 year old niece stuck her gum on the top of my Stanley (that I’m currently drinking from) and then got upset with ME when I asked her to remove it???

My voice is completely gone.

The baby knows she’s my favorite because I offer to share my holiday Oreos with her.

There are few bands better than Fall Out Boy’s pre-2008 era.

The 1 year old has discovered my tattoos. Auntie Audrey is basically a museum exhibit to her now.

I need to find a date for my sisters wedding or she’s gonna make me watch the babies.

I’ve gotten called a little person like 5x today. Tf did I do to everyone?

I hate bunt coffee.

Working on the guest list for my sisters wedding. Just go ahead and take me to the courthouse pls.

Took my wellness shot. I might be able to take on the world today.

Had a long ass work meeting, scalloped some potatoes, baked a cake with the 8 year old. I’m exhausted.

Chex Mix better count their fucking days. I got a bag full of pretzels 😒

Because I work in automotive, I do pretty much everything in workout clothes. Not finnna get brake dust and coolant fumes embedded in my nice Versace!

I go back to work Monday and I’m gonna miss being with my nieces 24/7. Kinda. Hearing “Auntie Audrey???” 2400 times an hour is a little tiring sometimes

I’m trying to make my special a scalloped potatoes with a baby running under my toes.

Sundays are peaceful when the Ravens don’t play. I’m eating a stromboli, watching someone else’s team lose.

Lost the drinking game and had to take a double shot. Just pickle my liver now.

Watching basketball and hockey is so peaceful for me, cause both my teams are hot garbage juice when it counts so I really just be wanting them to have fun.