Ameety

I did and the real problem is obvious. Its an ideology issue. Show me your friends I sincerely hope the Sister will face Her life and sort Herself out with God. These ones are irredeemable, and as for the other Sisters in similar situations, I can only wish them well. If after all these any woman still choose to be in bondage of not earning for whatever reason, Good luck to all of them . Oniya laaje iyi to po ju. I am sincerely grateful that all these came out, It reinforced what I knew but was given benefits of doubts before. Ori mi ati ti awon Omo mi oni buuru. Ori buruku oni ya lodomi tomotomo. Some certain people and situations are best avoided completely, Olorun oni je ki awon omo mi siyan lagbara Olorun and you too insha Allah

I wrote sometime ago that if you are born in the trenches like some of us and you want to BREAK OUT, you cannot afford to be mediocre. I still stand by it. But let me add something I have learnt since then. HARD WORK ALONE WILL NOT SAVE YOU. Yes, I said it. I know extremely hardworking people who have been working hard for 20 years and they are still struggling. Because at some point, you must stop confusing MOVEMENT with PROGRESS. You need STRATEGY. You need to know when to stay, when to move, when to learn, when to ask for help and sometimes when to START AGAIN. Coming from nothing means you may not inherit MONEY, but the bigger disadvantage is that you may not inherit INFORMATION. Nobody tells you which room to enter. Nobody tells you how money works. Nobody tells you that your ability to SPEAK, WRITE, NEGOTIATE and build relationships can open doors your certificate alone cannot open. Sometimes you don't even know the opportunity exists! That is why I said BOOK was my shield. Growing up in Ijegun, I saw enough around me to understand very early that one wrong decision could change the direction of my entire life. "Adija oni marry si Ijegun, koni bimo sibi." People who knew me then heard it repeatedly. It wasn't because I thought I was better than anybody. I simply had a picture in my head of the life I DID NOT WANT. Sometimes CLARITY starts there. Maybe you don't know exactly what you want yet, but do you know what you don't want? Start there. And please, stop being ashamed of being AMBITIOUS. Some of us cannot afford casual ambition. When there is no family wealth waiting for you, no powerful surname opening doors, no inheritance coming, you have to build deliberately. READ. LEARN. ASK QUESTIONS. Find people doing what you want to do and study them. Learn how people with access think and communicate. Improve your vocabulary. Learn how to negotiate. Understand MONEY. Learn a skill people will PAY for. And when you finally enter rooms that once looked impossible from where you started, don't shrink yourself because everybody else appears more polished than you. LISTEN. OBSERVE. LEARN. But SPEAK when you have something to say. You belong in any room your competence has earned you access to. And another thing. Your first breakthrough is not permission to relax. One good salary is not wealth. One successful business month is not financial freedom. One degree is not the end of learning. One connection is not a network. KEEP BUILDING. Find a mentor, but don't become a permanent passenger in somebody else's vehicle. Learn the principles. Follow instructions. Do the work. Then develop enough wisdom to eventually THINK FOR YOURSELF. And SERVE. There is something service teaches you that ambition alone cannot. Finally, PRAY. Pray seriously. Ask Allah for favour. Ask for people who will mention your name in rooms you have never entered. Ask for wisdom to recognise opportunities. Ask for protection from decisions that can destroy years of work. Ask for BARAKAH, because having plenty without peace is another kind of poverty. But after praying, GET UP. Send the application. Read the book. Take the course. Start the business. Make the call. Learn the skill. Save the money. Leave the comfort zone. Prayer is not an excuse for poor preparation. If you were born with fewer advantages, your beginning may explain why the journey is harder. But please don't let it become the reason you stop walking. Some of us are not just trying to "make it." We are trying to change what is NORMAL in our families. And that requires a different level of intentionality. May Allah put BARAKAH in our efforts, connect us with the right people, protect us from costly mistakes and allow our children to start from places we once prayed to reach. I stop here again. Maybe Part 3 someday.