@9daysinhell

low-key idek anymore clean from sh for 7 months !! ed is killing me

 lw
Joined August 2024
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39Media
Who even are these guys
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okay ts isn't funny anymore, my dad's ex wife who weighed 200+ and got weight loss surgery now weighs less than me. I'm never eating again omfg. ntm my dad knows it triggered me when they were both losing weight and SENT me her damn body checks??? I'm going to go mental.
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"only 4 people checked in on me 😓" BITCH talk to me when you're on the verge of ending it and no one is truly there for you and just uses you as a therapist, oh wait YOU DID THAT TO ME FUCK YOU
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WHY IS TWT TAKING DOWN ALL MY SHIT FUCK YOU
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I genuinely cannot do this anymore oh my god
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I want to be loved so fucking badly but ik I'll never be good enough for it
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getting on meds again all because of bsf was not the plan, god I love being a good friend, it's not like it's draining me completely or anything
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trembling constantly and breaking down every few days was not the plan, this is worse then when I was suicidal jfc
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the constant pit of anxiety is in my stomach again!!! yay!!!!
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I'm so fucking tired of being depended on. But unfortunately I'm too caring and put my needs aside to help everyone else. Just stab me with a fucking icepick until I bleed out
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It's not a birthday without second guessing if everyone hates you
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why do people think I'm a top gulps I'm honored but guys I love getting my shi rocked, not the other way around
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how to soft launch my depression is coming back
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I need to stop getting in relationships knowing I'll just get fucking hurt because apparently I can't be loved without it
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Oh my god S9 e2 Rick and Morty made me fucking ill holy shit
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oh my god I forgot how fucked up I was after Eli, holy shit it was so bad and after being raped again I like don't care at all???? Trauma response to push it down ig but omg
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being around my skinny friends again makes me realize the difference in eating habits; only eating when hungry + eating slow until they aren't hungry anymore, never enough to be full. growing up in a fat family + trauma makes me eat more than enough in fear of not having it again
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more replies
So when she kicked me out I hoarded food and binged in fear of not having food or just not eating at all because it felt like freedom not being forced to eat + way too much food for an eleven year old. I'm better now, but sometimes I still think of it
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This thread is just my thoughts about this topic, but I love my friends and missed them. Shout out everynyan, and thank you for making me feel loved and that I'm worth more than my disordered thoughts
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