me: hmm 🙈🤓🤔 should I get out of Irvine? Everyone: ⚠️ YES! ⚠️ me: hmm, I guess I'll never know 🥺🤔

Whenever someone has beef with me, I'm just like, "I'm just a girl from Irvine, California 🥺"

An on-again, off-again whateverationship

🗣️ NEW ZACH BRYAN FRIDAY

I like baseball more than sex

I love the Brewers because so many guys on the team are hot

BPD = Beautiful Person Disorder

The amount of cannibalism that goes on in the AI slop fruit world is crazy

I was boarding the bus, and the bus driver asked me, "Are you lost?" And I said, "No... Why?" And he said, "Oh, usually only black people take this bus."

This guy I know on Instagram is always following the most esoteric trade: - Midwest bus driver who is into political economy - Meteorologist who is Buddhist - Car mechanic who likes literature

Is America ready for the next great American novel to be written by a white man again?

IT'S CPI WEDNESDAY

I'm a grown man with a hickey. So what.

Today I said I would go to the event at ATE PEE EM

A balk is when

A colleague at work said she was considering getting a septum piercing, and I asked why, and she said, "I don't know."

Blind leaps of faith are my joy, and what I've always lived for

New Zach Bryan Friday will get me through this week