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If I had a dollar for every time someone called me short, I could pay for college, a semester abroad, a new car, and a mansion in cash.

When in doubt nap it out

"Use your own words, don't just copy from the text book" Book: "she was born in 1978" Me: "1978 is the year in which she was born"

Remember in school when u were sitting in class and contemplating on asking to go to the bathroom so u can kill some time during that class but some asshole raised his hand and beat u to it so now u have to wait at least 15 minutes after he came back to ask? Ya fuck those moments

College is mostly just sitting with a laptop in different places

Exams got me like

When you get the job after lying on your resume.

What it takes for me to wake up...

Me trying to save my semester from the depths of hell.

chefs your mystery ingredients are

has anyone ever eaten at long john silver’s ?

"Omw" vs "On my way!"

my organs watching me drink water

"I don't care how old I am, I'm jumping in this bitch!"

SOCIAL ANXIETY IS SO FUCKIN ANNOYING LIKE U START TO PANIC OR THINK UR EMBARRASSING YOURSELF WHILE DOING NORMAL THINGS LIKE WAITING WALKING PAST TRAFFIC OR TYPING IN PUBLIC OR ANSWERING PHONE CALLS OR FUCKIN ORDERING A COFFEE IN CAFÉ, LIKE DAMN BITCH CAN I JUST LIVE MY LIFE

"Use your own words, don't just copy from the text book" Book: "she was born in 1978" Me: "1978 is the year in which she was born"

Excited to announce that Spree has officially launched nationwide today! What is spree? Have 120 second conversations and if you last the full 120 seconds, it becomes a match in your inbox! So cool! Download today in the app store! buff.ly/2F6EfbZ

The struggle of rolling the window up in the car