Corvette is an Indian word for "small penis."

Trump's latest announcement: Astonishing, but not surprised.

Are those real or counterfeit MoonPies? That wrapper looks a little sketchy. #meow #RudyKat

Pablo Cortado. Oh nothing. #sherrybaby

Journey #lesserbands

Merica. #doritos

Meh! Ice bucket challenge is for amateurs! #kittylitterchallenge

Can we have a wine person take a Facebook photo of themselves thoughtfully sniffing a glass of wine? Cause there's not enough of that.

Craving a Colorado Bulldog. Don't judge me.

If you are an adult and are riding your bicycle today, I'll just assume you're drunk. #4thofJuly

@unicornsomm they only explode if there's a crack in the bottle. Blame the glassmaker?

Champagne wishes, bitchez!

I give this sausage pizza 97 Points. #ThePizzaAdvocate

Highlights from LaPaulee @lapauleenyc

Even IF someone's child really does look like HoneyBooBoo, don't call that child HoneyBooBoo.

We've replaced our customer's Silver Oak with Chinon. Let's see if they notice.

Nothing says "I'm a white boy" like smooth jazz.

Hi! How may I upsell you?