@Samtanic_Panic

ok but you won’t like it

Joined May 2014
  • Tweets24.6K
  • Following424
  • Followers1.8K
2.9KMedia
I kind of don’t want to tell my family the baby’s gender because I don’t want them to buy ugly baby clothes
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shane gillis notices what people wear at the gym because he is not working out hard enough. he needs to be putting himself in more discomfort
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i did not find his bit to be offensive btw. just not very funny because it's a joke that's been told a million times before.
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A good rule of thumb is to not have sex with someone if you think they’ll regret it but that means some of you would never get laid
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i shouldn't have to say this but someone of sound mind giving you enthusiastic consent is not giving signs that should make you think they might regret it if you can't tell understand what i'm saying then you might be too socially retarded to be fucking
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The signs were right there.
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Google doesn't have high hopes for my parenting skills
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Europeans aren’t famous for having a sense of humor so I won’t even call you a retard
brain salad surgery 🏆@traumatografoOct 5
americans have more hitler particles in their brains than actual germans
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I thought the riots in France being framed as students protesting poor conditions in the classrooms was bullshit until I learned they don’t have air conditioning. Now I understand
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“France is becoming a third world country” It already IS a third world country!
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💕 retweeted
Circe
@vocalcryOct 2
In a sense, being bombarded with this Cornell case at every turn is a form rape
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Slutty jaws theme plays.
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The rape allegations will continue until slut shaming improves
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Historically nothing is less racist than the white man’s penis
HowlingMutant
@Howlingmutant0Sep 30
Guys my kid is actually half Trinidadian and not half Indian so if you could please switch from Indian slurs to whatever the hell they call Trinidadian people I’d appreciate it
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No I'm going on the swings. Swings kick ass
Shannon Loys
@shannonicalSep 30
Parents, every playground has a bench. That’s for you. Sit down, do less.
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Crazy all the forbidden stuff you can talk ai into doing but you still can’t talk a girl into a date
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i wonder what it must feel like to have had millions of guys jerk it to you and you're still gonna die alone
SMRTX
@smrtxsznSep 27
Mia Khalifa reveals getting cheated on after pegging her ex on Call Her Daddy: "I bought myself a d*ck and you tits... and where does that get me? Cheated on." "Wait, you bought him boobs?" "Yes. Fake boobs to put on a man."
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100 years old and trying to hook up with a 17 year old girl You see how this looks, right?
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got an invitation for a wedding during the same weekend i was planning a trip. the thing is it's the woman's third marriage. can't i just skip this one and catch her next one?
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Saw my brother today and his hairline is now like this How do I gently explain to him he is bringing deep shame to our family by not just shaving it off
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