ralphgarman (@RalphGarman) header
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Philly boy goes to Hollywood to sell his soul ... Still looking for a buyer.

Los Angeles, CA
Joined August 2010
Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)Photo by ralphgarman (@RalphGarman)
Botox for your forehead is so last year. Ralph’s Sex U is breaking down HoleTox on #TheRalphReport, the trend everyone is Googling and nobody admits to. @RalphGarman, @EddiePence & Queen J have questions. So many questions. Join the #Garmy on @Patreon: Patreon.com/TheRalphReport
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Hope people recognize how much @JalenHurts made up for the weaknesses in those @Eagles teams.
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Getting married?! Who the FUCK is damaged enough to marry @LauraLoomer? – at Burbank, CA
I’ve been going nonstop supporting President Trump @realDonaldTrump ever since he came down the golden escalator. As many of you know, I am chronically tuned in, online, and I am always working. I am a machine. Some days I work more than 18 hours. My work has been one of the most meaningful things I’ve ever done. The people I’ve met, the energy and rush I feel from exposing things and breaking stories, the sense that the work I do actually matters… I’m grateful for all of it. I’m grateful for all of you. There is more to life than work though, and I am trying to learn that and practice it. It’s been very hard for me to be honest. Very very hard. I’ve been running on empty for too long. Family, my personal life, my upcoming wedding, a healthy work life balance and just the act of having a life outside of my show and my work have all been on hold. So I’m taking a hiatus from my show @LoomerUnleashed, which I livestream twice a week. I just need to step back, recharge, refocus, and be present in my own life and my own mind with peace and clarity for a little while and I also want to redesign my studio and enjoy wedding planning with the love of my life who deserves more of my time and energy. He deserves to see me happy, and I deserve to be happy. We deserve to be happy together at this time in our lives. I have wanted to redo my studio for a year, but I keep pushing it all off, because that’s what I do. I push things off that matter to me and my happiness to do for others 24/7, and I think I need to change that for a brief moment. I’ll still be paying attention, fully supporting President Trump, breaking news, commenting on news, doing research and I’ll be around. I will be present (I always am). But, I won’t be doing my show for a while. I’ll be back when the time is right. Thank you to everyone who’s been on this ride with me and to all of my podcast viewers. It means more to me than I can say.
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Come on, @tedcruz. If "people are crying in Texas Best Buys" is from looking at the prices caused by GOP tariffs and wars. – at Burbank, CA
The last two days in Texas, as I’ve traveled the state, I’ve encountered people who are grieving. They’re in shock. They may have been angry, but they did not anticipate this tidal wave nationwide electing radicals to the Senate, giving the Democrats a stranglehold on the Senate, and Texas flipping blue. I want people at home to hear me. We are going to turn Texas around. Texas will be red again. And we are going to turn this country around.
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Got to go to Wayne Manor this week. I was so excited I only made a minor scene about the WRONG Batmobile on site.
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ralphgarman retweeted
So, the whole “Let’s talk about the asses of our candidates” strategy didn’t move voters? Who knew?
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HAPPY HOWL-A-WEEN! – at Burbank, CA
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It’s Friday and something wild is howling on #TheRalphReport. Join @RalphGarman & @EddiePence for a #spooky #Garmy Game Show & Video Vault. The week is over. The moon is out. The claws are sharp. Nobody is safe. @Patreon: Patreon.com/TheRalphReport
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Patrick was one of those icons who we somehow all took for granted would always be with us. I grew up as a fan, and was later gifted the privilege of becoming a colleague and friend, working with him for many years on “American Dad!”, “Family Guy”, and “Ted”. He was that rare actor who could take any bit of dialogue and elevate it, making a good writer sound great, and a great writer sound masterful. He was also as humble as they come. I remember exchanging emails with him a number of years ago when he was beginning day 1 of a new film. He commented to me that he always walked onto a new set feeling like the biggest novice there. My stunned reaction was the same as anyone’s would be. I said, “Patrick, if you feel that way, the rest of us are screwed.” We have lost a legendary actor today, and for many of us, a good friend. He will be deeply missed by the entire planet.
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ralphgarman retweeted
What was the over/under on this happening?
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It's hilarious to watch bitches like @JesseBWatters get triggered. – at Burbank, CA
Watters: It’s jealously. Obama's legacy is trash. All it is, he was black, Obamacare, Bin Laden, and the bail-outs. That's it
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My high school and my QB. Love 'em both. – at Burbank, CA
This morning at NE HS, the students spelled out QB1 to support Jalen Hurts. Jalen donated $600K to the HS last month to fund new air conditioning.
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Who this cunt doing the bad Trump impression? – at Burbank, CA
WATCH THIS. Right now at Trump's rally in Iowa: "Thank God you're building the ballroom." "They've never given you the Nobel Peace Prize, by the way, which is a disgrace. So I came up with a new award. It's called the Man of the Century Award." 😂 MAGA is a cult.
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Terra e Mare Ristorante – Italian fine-dining experience in Studio City share.google/e0rfYvQs3KlbhUJ… – at Burbank, CA
Ok LA folks - i need to book a place for my bday dinner Friday night. Probably in the Sherman Oaks/Studio City area because im westside but ALL of my friends are valley & deep valley. It cant be insanely expensive but not cheap eats either. Must serve drinks too. Not Baccari or Firefly or Black Market. Who has suggestions?? Thank you!! I dont eat out much so I dont know places anymore.
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Dylan Baker. – at Burbank, CA
This quoted post is unavailable.
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Thanks to everybody who came out to see me and @ThatKevinSmith last night! We had a blast and you guys were AWESOME!
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ralphgarman retweeted
Please stop infantilizing Zacharia. She’s a 41 year old woman who actively vied for a job she was unqualified for, while lying for years about her resume. Treating her like a victim does her — and women — zero favors.
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ralphgarman retweeted
In fairness to her, she was terrible at it.
Katie Zacharia has been fired as White House press secretary after less than one week on the job. (nytimes.com/2026/10/16/us/po…)
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Forget the bar exam. Check to see if she's had a stroke. She can't form a sentence. – at Beverly Hills, CA
Zacharia: I moved to China where I did get a job in an international practice of a Chinese law firm. I was doing cross country border transactions and multimillion dollar shareholder agreements. Hannity: Did you ever take the bar exam a second time? Zacharia: I did not. Hannity: You consulted with many people and they advised you it was okay to call yourself a lawyer but not an attorney, correct? Zacharia: Correct. Hannity: There's a report out tonight that showed 15 social media posts where you identify yourself as an attorney. Zacharia: I think they were retweets. I corrected the record and said it's not endorsing the title. They were retweets of a title that had been given.
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