So, with my birthday on Friday, I wanted to at least write something really small. It's a miracle I am still here, didn't know really I'd even be alive by now. With the beginning of the year being the worst my life has gotten, to now where I feel like it's the best it's ever gotten, I really am so loved and grateful. Especially to the people who reached out, checked in on me, CHECKED me for shit, and made it so clear that they cared. I love you so deeply that you would not understand. The list of people I could thank is unimaginable, and I will remember when I was in the worst I've ever been this year, the people who had my back, defended me, checked in on me, and made sure to give me a lot of love; being the reason I finally got proper medical help and cannot even fathom how my life would be without it. The call-ins at *you know where,* making sure I was okay. Even repairing relationships I never thought I would have again. I'm so fucking grateful. To the people who were there, thank you so much. You truly are family, friends, and so much more to me. I love you so very much. To the people who supported me then and now, I love you so much too. And to the people who I called some of my best friends, yet did not make a small effort at all up until recently to try and check in on me, not caring about my well-being, and proving to me time and time again all that was cared about was my name and what I could provide? The ones I made time for when I could, yet couldn't do the same? The people I allowed to be in my life, share some of the darkest, scariest things I could of ever shared about what has happened to me, given you funds, food, gigs, and even a place to stay? And couldn't even take 3 seconds of your day to reach out and go 'hey, you okay?' And even never reaching out, even when noticing I have fully backed away from you? I have a few words for you. Choke. If you're one of those people, no need for you to say happy birthday to me, I already have enough love as it is. Send it to my label, they'll tell me. Happy birthday to me, you filthy animal. You won this time. 💖