@Ilana

Marketing Director by day / author by night (books: @RCaskie1). Somehow. Bit tired.

 Brighton
ilanafox.com
Joined July 2009
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In the last couple of weeks I've learned from the police / media if I want to avoid going missing or being murdered I need to: Not be too ambitious or high-achieving. Not earn more than my partner (too late) Not go to a park. Not to drink alcohol. Not to go through menopause.
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Today's the day. Go Birds. #ItsAPhillyThing x #FlyEaglesFly
Illustration of Jalen Hurts and Jason Kelce with the Philadelphia skyline in the background. In the middle is text that reads "Go Birds." in italics and the Phillies and Eagles logos are beneath the text.

ALT Illustration of Jalen Hurts and Jason Kelce with the Philadelphia skyline in the background. In the middle is text that reads "Go Birds." in italics and the Phillies and Eagles logos are beneath the text.

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Can anyone recommend a watercolour illustrator for a children’s book? (with Quentin Blake / Shirley Hughes vibes)
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(I am not writing a children’s book btw that would be insane)
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Hmm, bought a bread machine from @JohnLewisRetail that caught on fire when I plugged it in. Was told I could have an exchange sent to my local Waitrose. They accidentally sent it to a John Lewis an hours drive away. I said I couldn’t get there and could they send it to me.
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Customer services just hung up on me. Thanks, John Lewis.
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@johnlewishelp WTF.
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Today I met someone who had a cameo in Bluey and none of my friends understand the cultural significance or my excitement.
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4-year-old also not fussed. “But he wasn’t a real dog, mama.”
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My friend @Apey is AWESOME. And is recovering from a whole world of shit. She paying an awful lot of (ridiculous) legal fees right now so if she’s ever made you laugh, buy her a coffee… ko-fi.com/aprilrichardson
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Daughter’s first football match. She’s entranced. Just told her men play football too and she thought it was HILARIOUS. What a world awaits her.
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Yeah, she’s told me she’s wearing her football kit to nursery tomorrow. “Because we are WINNERS!”
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The future is bright. (My future Albion player who’s still too excited to go to sleep!)
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She’s absolutely bonkers.
Rt Hon Nadine Dorries
@NadineDorries5 Jul 2022
I’m not sure anyone actually doubted this, however, I am 💯 behind @BorisJohnson the PM who consistently gets all the big decisions right.
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A summer party next door, a pause in the music between songs. “Mama, wake up, I think they’re playing pass-the-parcel!”
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👏 ♥️
Justin Myers@theguyliner7 Apr 2022
PUBLICATION DAY! The Fake-Up, my comedy about two lovable idiots who think the world revolves around them, is out today! Jokes! Sex! Glamour! Class! Nepotism! Cheap bouquets! Characters you’ll either fall for or want to punch repeatedly! Please buy! geni.us/TheFakeUp
Me holding my book and a bunch of very withered tulips

ALT Me holding my book and a bunch of very withered tulips

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