College Student (again), Semi-Professional Cynic (even though that isn't a real thing), Occasional Stand-Up Comedian
Huntsville, AL
Joined November 2009
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I know that was one of the better Game 7’s we’ll ever see in our lifetime, but please don’t let it distract you from what’s important: Fire Hugh Freeze #wde #firehughfreeze
Russell Wilson: I’d like to play for the Bears.
Bears: I’m sorry but we’re going with *checks notes* Andy Dalton instead. #whybearsfansdrink
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Not to be an alarmist but the @NHLBlackhawks have given up 11 goals in the last 4 periods.
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In honor of @88PKane 1000th career game, @NBCSports is giving all viewers a free seizure #Blackhawks
Tim Kelly retweeted
To anyone complaining about a private media company kicking Trump off their platform:
Think of Twitter as a Christian bakery and Trump as a gay wedding cake.
#BanTrumpFromTwitter
Tim Kelly retweeted
We're not asking for you to shoot them like you shoot us.
We're asking you to NOT shoot us like you don't shoot them.
Tim Kelly retweeted
Assistant favorite Qb, or assistant to your favorite Qb?
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Anybody else spending your isolation watching West Wing and wishing a different celebrity was elected president?
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Tim Kelly retweeted
It's dreadful that things are so bad in America at the moment
But remember, it would have been worse if President Trump had made any mistakes
Hey @prattprattpratt my city just named our baseball team the Trash Pandas thanks to #GOTG. That get a RT? instagram.com/p/BnXRMHdDahm/
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“Task Force: that sounds like a body spray for hot dudes.” God I love Gina Linnetti. @chelseaperetti