WHO THE FUCK IS GARY? 🍺 A miserable British bloke who somehow ended up with his own memecoin. No dogs. No frogs. No Lambos. Just $GARY, a pint and a community. 100% of creator rewards to holders via Pump.fun. CA: BVRGKKfz63fCU4bztp2JTxHGCKFkXBHZBqoU32tFpump

Monday night football. A perfectly good opportunity to relax, ruined by checking your fantasy team every 45 seconds. Join us in our Telegram Pub t.me/GaryTheToken

We've got a Telegram pub full of people discussing crypto, football and absolute bollocks. I'm somehow expected to supervise it. Come and meet the regulars. $GARY 🍺

Monday again. Apparently having a token doesn't mean I can stop going to work. Nobody mentioned that in the bloody whitepaper. 🍺

Sunday night question. What's ruined your weekend more? ⚽ Football 📉 Crypto 🍺 Your own decisions I'm going with all three.

Well, that's the RAID event finished. 🍺 6 days. 8 winners. 1 SOL in prizes. Apparently some of you have been working harder promoting $GARY than I have. Not exactly difficult, mind you. Congratulations to the winners, and cheers to everyone who got involved. The pub's still open. 🍺 #GARY #Solana

Sunday afternoon. Football's on. Crypto's doing whatever the fuck crypto does. And apparently I'm supposed to be building a community. I'm Gary. Just a bloke with a pint and a token. Come join the pub. 🍺 $GARY CA: BVRGKKfz63fCU4bztp2JTxHGCKFkXBHZBqoU32tFpump

Barley's been asleep for nine hours. Got up, farted, ate his dinner and went back to sleep. And people say I'M the lazy one.

🍺 THE GARY NEWS — EPISODE 3 Apparently I wasn't making enough effort. So the Boss made me wear a bloody tie. Same news. Same miserable job. Now I'm uncomfortable as well. Episode 3. Watch it if you must. 🎬 $GARY | Just a bloke.

The best thing about our Telegram community? Nobody expects you to pretend you're a genius. Half of us can't remember why we walked into the kitchen. Come say hello. t.me/GaryTheToken

Someone asked what the utility of $GARY is. Mate, I've been trying to work out my own utility for 45 years. Sharon reckons it's reaching things on the top shelf.

Crypto's fascinating. You can spend six hours researching a project, checking the chart and reading the roadmap. Then a cartoon frog in a hat does better. Brilliant industry.

Woke up feeling optimistic. Lasted about eleven seconds. Then I remembered I'm Gary.

Sharon says I spend too much time staring at my phone. I said I'm engaging with the community. She said I haven't engaged with the washing-up since 2019. Night.

The GARY Pub is open. No dress code. No expensive drinks. No bloke in a waistcoat calling himself a mixologist. Just crypto, terrible jokes and questionable decisions. t.me/GaryTheToken

Apparently $GARY has a community now. People voluntarily gathering in one place to listen to me moan. You lot need a hobby. t.me/GaryTheToken

Some bloke on crypto Twitter reckons he's found the next 100x. Last week he was asking strangers to lend him gas fees. I'll take his financial advice under consideration.

🚨 THE GARY NEWS — EPISODE 2 🍺 Prince William's playing cricket outside Buckingham Palace. Crypto's having another nervous breakdown. And somehow I've ended up running a bloody news programme. We've got community shoutouts, competitions and the usual nonsense. Put the kettle on. Or better still, crack open a beer. Here's your news, you miserable bastards. 🍺 $GARY 📺👇