Todd retweeted
it's cool & fine that the down payment on a house in the present day is the same amount a bond villain in the 70's would demand to prevent him blowing up the moon
Todd retweeted
Old Navy t-shirts lose 70% of their structural integrity after 3 washes, but then hold steady for like 11 years.
Todd retweeted
BARISTA: what can I get you
ME: medium roast please
B: ok, your gray roots are getting obvious and you have the silhouette of a potato
M: *under breath* damn
Todd retweeted
If a Transformer died could you just use it’s body as a regular car? Like, respectfully tho.
Todd retweeted
*elementary school teacher calling roll in 2037*
teacher: naruto
“here”
teacher: pepe
“here”
teacher: jeff
“here”
teacher: jeff
“here”
teacher: jeff
“here”
teacher: beter
“its pronounced 🅱️eter”
Todd retweeted
*sees 280*
CONSCIENCE: "don't do it."
*still 223 left*
"srsly don't."
*closes eyes*
SOME
BODY
ONCE
TOLD
ME
THE
WORLD
IS
GONNA
ROLL
ME
I
AIN'T
THE
SHARPEST
TOOL
IN
THE
SHED
SHE
WAS
LOOKING
KIND
OF
DUMB
WITH
HER
FINGER
AND
HER
THUMB
IN
THE
SHAPE
OF
AN
L
ON
HER
FOREHEAD
WELL,
Todd retweeted
.@realDonaldTrump I know today was rough, but hey, you still have the Facebook support of the dumbest person I can remember from high school
Todd retweeted
Me: nice car
Friend: yeah 400 horsepower
Me: that's like 7000 ducks
Friend: what
Me: what
Todd retweeted
I say potato you say potato, another guy says potato, everyone starts chanting potato, the potato meeting was a huge success
Todd retweeted
*Kid Rock reaches the front of the welfare line*
"Name?"
*he smiles, taking a deep breath*
