if you saw me ordering a dirty soda at 9am…no you didn’t

tater tots look like little footballs and every sunday i pretend i am a giant and eat the little footballs while i watch football

drink combos that would concern your family…GO

watching my team lose on sunday: it’s so over getting a $7 Big Deal Meal after the game: we’re so back

live. laugh. corn dog.

toss your hair in a bun, drink a Harvest Berry with Sprite, release your inhibitions and handle it

i like my books like my sodas: dirty

social media is wild bc i can just post the words “corn dog” and people go nuts

the lion does not concern himself with hot lattes in the summer

me: sorry i was late i had an appointment with the doctor the doctor in question:

first date idea: go lady and the tramp with a mozz stick in the front seat

what order are u eating these in

sunday plans: eat burger, fries, and a sundae on my sofa while i yell at the TV

BIG bet

ok how do i get this job (eating the $7 Big Deal Meal)

hotumn is like the opposite of that kid in high school who wore shorts in the winter

with the LOML (and my wife)

but does a hot latte have the good ice?