Why’s everything measured in Texas?

Why wasn’t the Loch Ness monster names snorkelsaurus

Damn we really lived an acoustic childhood compared to kids these days

Sometimes life is hard and all you need is a hospital sandwich (@panerabread) and a Norah Jone

Musk is really bolstering the legal workforce

In Spanish, we don’t say “it doesn’t werq,” we say “no sirve” which means “it doesn’t serve” and I think that’s beautiful

I hate a sleepy aisle seat sitter

Gen X ❌ Gen Z ❌ Gen ovia ✅✅✅

All men are trash!! Some are just in scented trash bags!!

Why do hot girls love hookah

A friend asked me what cologne I thought was best and I said I think its deodorant and body spray but that’s just my 2 scents.

It’s 2021 my dudes! We cryin

Im never wearing black to Zara again! No I don’t know if we have this in your size but I will check!

I got the vaccine today and I look like a Tim Burton character

If you don’t have a favorite PowerPoint slide you’re not really livin baby

How did we not clock Lindsay Lohan’s fake British accent in parent trap. We just accepted it!

There has never been a worse time to be a red hat