bitly.xaijo.com/MjrPNn Nicki Minaj is probably my favorite Dr. Seuss character.

Sometimes it's really hard to tell who's winning when you fight sarcasm with sarcasm. bitly.xaijo.com/IFnfBItT

bitly.xaijo.com/drBcBJQq When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny.

bitly.xaijo.com/oallrF When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny.

bitly.xaijo.com/drBcBJQq Sometimes it's really hard to tell who's winning when you fight sarcasm with sarcasm.

bitly.xaijo.com/jNSKHRhj I hope my memory foam mattress doesn't remember the man in my bed last night and tell my boyfriend.

bitly.xaijo.com/JgbcK I cut butter with a regular knife and now it won't stop crying like a little bitch.

bitly.xaijo.com/hInkCnS I hope rapidly clicking this arrow on Google Street View counts as jogging.

bitly.xaijo.com/JgbcK Guys, if you want to make a girl moan, tremble, and scream: be a spider.

Civilization is just one really long and annoying group project. bitly.xaijo.com/hInkCnS

bitly.xaijo.com/IFnfBItT At this point, every item on drive-thru menus should have "Uhhh..." in front of it.

bitly.xaijo.com/MjrPNn I cut butter with a regular knife and now it won't stop crying like a little bitch.

bitly.xaijo.com/hANrOaH Nicki Minaj is probably my favorite Dr. Seuss character.

bitly.xaijo.com/JgbcK I cut butter with a regular knife and now it won't stop crying like a little bitch.

bitly.xaijo.com/jNSKHRhj Nicki Minaj is probably my favorite Dr. Seuss character.

I hope my memory foam mattress doesn't remember the man in my bed last night and tell my boyfriend. bitly.xaijo.com/hANrOaH

"Age is just a number." "Yeah? Jail is just a room." bitly.xaijo.com/oallrF

bitly.xaijo.com/GaBkOmFl No wonder my cigar tastes funny. It's just a really old hot dog.

bitly.xaijo.com/jNSKHRhj Let's find some common ground so I can tell you my fucking life story

The weirder Rihanna's tattoos get the less I blame Chris Brown bitly.us.to/hANrOaH