GF went through my phone

Fun game to play in Dallas: Is she pregnant or just fat?

Just met a girl who said she makes the best blue berry muffins I’d ever eat and her family has 100,000 acres in Wyoming

Death, taxes, and entering my card information into my Xbox to purchase the Addison Rea Fortnite skin.

Might buy a one wish willow jus to wish for some head 😫

The boys are gonna love when I whip these out on the tee box 😂🤣🤣😂 . Paired with my new Bad Birdie beer polo. 🤣🤣😂😂🤣

Just hit me there’s no formals post grad. Might kms

Nothing worse than being hungover with a chick going through her Snapchat memories. No I don’t care about your friends mom dancing in the kitchen 5 years ago today.

Bitches will instagram a picture of a cheese board as if they aren’t trying to draw any attention to the Gulfstream window in the background

Rolling a Fre in my fingers like I’m intching my balls. #PinchNRoll

Meta glasses have caused more harm to society than any drug ever

Butterfly effect?

Would women get married if wedding culture didn’t exist?

So excited to move out. My neighbors keep randomly waking up in the middle of the night at around 6 or 7am, dressed up in suits and blouses, and will get in their cars and drive off until about dinner time. Fucking tweakers dude. Fuck this neighborhood.

Done enough womps in the past 2 weeks to completely reverse engineer the last 4 years of learning I did. #SquareOne

Microsoft security, I’m patrolling my ex Box

Flight tongued a buddy in the lib and some fruzz saw

Worst part about AI is that I can’t tell which hydrologic press videos are real or not!!!!

Would girls even graduate if the couldn’t post graduation pics?